A Little More Time
by Vadergirl52
Summary: An alternate reality of how Lee and Amanda finally get together. I've edited the paragraphing so it's easier to read now.
1. Default Chapter

_A Little More Time_

Chapter One

It was one of those early, warm Spring days that come in the beginning of April when you least expect it.  One day you're mired in snow and slush and the next, the sun is out, the grass is green, birds are singing, and everything suddenly seems right and good.  It was the kind of day when you took a deep breath of the warm air and just had to smile; it was good to be alive.  Lee Stetson got out of his Corvette and stood thinking all these things on the sidewalk in front of IFF as he looked up at the sky.  A smile broke out on his face as he put his car keys in his pocket and he took the few steps up to the door in one stride.  Yes, today was shaping up to be an excellent day.

            Lee approached the door to his office with one hand behind his back.  He had snatched a tulip from an arrangement on Mrs. Marsten's desk with the intention of surprising his partner.  He paused at that thought with his hand on the door and shook his head, smiling.  He had been denying the fact that she was indeed his partner for three years and it wasn't until just a few months ago, when she had moved upstairs to the Q Bureau with him, that he had at last given in and admitted that he needed her.  Actually, he was beginning to admit that his need for her in his work life was spilling over into his personal life as well.  When he could admit that openly to Amanda, however, was another story.  He felt he was on the right track, circuitous as it sometimes was, but it was just going to take him a little more time.  Smiling again, he opened the door and walked in to the office.

            "Amanda," Lee began, but realized she wasn't there.  Frowning, Lee took a quick peek in the file room, but no; she wasn't there.  He walked over to her desk and placed the tulip in a vase.  He noticed her purse and sweater were absent and Lee frowned again.  It wasn't like Amanda to be late for work.  He sat down at her desk and thumbed through her planner.  What he saw scribbled hastily on yesterday's page rubbed him the wrong way immediately: Joe - 7:00.

            The door to the office opened to admit Amanda.  "Good morning, Lee," Amanda smiled.

            "Morning?  It's nearly afternoon," Lee grumbled.

            "Oh come on!  I'm only ten minutes late," Amanda laughed.  "Besides, isn't this rather like the pot calling the kettle black, Mr. Punctuality?"

            "It's just not like you to be late.  Did you have car trouble?" Lee questioned, dreading to hear the real reason.

            "No," Amanda answered as she went to the small refrigerator to put fresh half and half away.

            Lee waited for an elaboration and when none was forthcoming, he tried again.  "So?"

            Amanda turned and looked at him.  "So?"

            Lee stood up in exasperation and walked over to his desk.  "So---why were you late?"

            Amanda shrugged her shoulders noncommittally.  "I overslept."

            Lee couldn't help his next comment.  "What---late night last night?"

            "Yeah."

            Lee waited again for an elaboration and again he was disappointed.  "So---some kind of last-minute science project one of the boys forgot about?"

            "No," Amanda replied, moving behind her desk and sitting down.  "What is this, a level One Interrogation?"  

            "No---just curious," Lee replied.

            Amanda glanced down at her open desk calendar.  She knew she had closed it before leaving yesterday and Lee had been sitting at her desk when she walked in.  Obviously he had seen her "appointment" with Joe---why was he fishing for an answer he already knew?

            "It's no big deal really," Amanda said.  "Joe came over last night for dinner with the boys and me and he stayed late.  I got to bed late and that's why I overslept."  Amanda frowned at herself.  Why was she explaining herself to Lee?

            "Oh," Lee muttered.  He crossed his arms and leaned against his desk.  "So, what did Joe have to say?"  Mentally he kicked himself.  This WAS turning into an interrogation.

            "Oh, we talked about a lot of little stuff really," Amanda replied.

            "When's he going back to Estocia?"

            Amanda looked up at that last remark.  Was she detecting a note of anxiety in Lee's voice?  "He's not."

            Lee straightened up at that.  "What?"

            "He's decided to do work here, in DC.  He feels he can do more for Estocia here as an ambassador.  Plus, he's anxious to see Philip and Jamie more often."

            Lee felt his stomach clench a bit more.  Joe was staying in America---and close to Amanda.  Lee knew where this was heading; Joe wanted Amanda back.  But did Amanda want **Joe back?**

            Amanda was watching Lee, waiting for question number twenty.  When he said nothing and sat back down at his desk, Amanda smiled and pulled a few files from her inbox.  As she sat there paging through the documents, occasionally making notations, Lee watched her, his feelings in a turmoil.  He was suddenly on very shaky ground.  He had been taking his time, examining his feelings for Amanda closely before making any kind of move.  Had he taken too much time?  Lee's thoughts drifted back to what, for him, had been the turning point in their relationship.  

***********************************************************************

When they had been assigned to the Peter Sacker case, Lee had been his usual, irritated self.  Billy had insisted they team up because Amanda knew the back woods country of Virginia extremely well.  Francine had made a snide comment about the Junior Trailblazers and what kind of information Amanda possessed, but even though Lee had grumbled, he knew Billy was right.  As usual, what should have been an easy assignment had blown up in their faces and they had wound up on the run from Sacker and his militia.  Shackled together and trying to stay warm in a swamp at night, he had wrapped his arms around Amanda in order to be more comfortable.  Amanda was terrified and Lee had tried to offer her some comforting words.  

_"I keep thinking of the first time we met---the train station---If I had never given you that package you wouldn't be here now," Lee said, mentally berating himself._

_"Oh, come on now, I'm an adult.  I knew the risks: no guts no glory," Amanda interrupted._

_            Lee had spoken to her quietly for a while, trying to assuage her fear and Amanda had smiled at him.  "That's one of the things I really like about you; you always find the silver lining."_

_            Lee smiled in return.  "Well, it's no business for a pessimist."  His arms around her felt somehow right.  Unconsciously he had been rubbing her arms up and down, trying to give her a little warmth.  Amanda squirmed a bit and then broke the companionable silence._

_            "Lee…..if we don't make it…."_

_            "Hey…" he had tried to stop that line of thinking, but Amanda plowed on, not giving him a chance to break her resolve in this._

_            "If we don't……I just want you to know that……I….." Here Amanda trailed off._

_            Lee looked at her suddenly.  What was she about to say?  His hands stopped their movement and he stared at her.  She was so close to him, he could feel her breath on his neck and smell her hair.  Had she always been this beautiful?  Why hadn't he noticed before now?_

_            Amanda cleared her throat nervously and then rushed on with her sentence. "really am glad to have known you."  She slumped against his chest, cursing herself for not having the guts to tell him everything.  I love you….I have always loved you….  Amanda finished the sentence the right way in her mind, wishing she had it in her to say the words aloud._

_            Lee smiled and laughed lightly.  "The same goes here.  To tell you the truth, Amanda, I've learned a lot from you in the last couple of years."_

_            "Really?  I always thought I was pretty much of a burden."_

_            "Well, I----really.  I have learned a lot about people---about myself---you know, stuff they don't teach you at the Agency."  Lee smiled and his hands began their movement up and down her arms again, this time as more of a gentle caress.  A small spasm in his back sent him shifting his position, jarring Amanda at the same time.  When they had moved to accommodate his back, they were face to face and even closer than before.  He looked into her eyes and saw the fear mixed with…?  There was another emotion there; one that Lee hadn't noticed before.  She smiled nervously at him, giving him the way out of this precarious situation, but he didn't return the smile.  Instead, his eyes traveled down to her mouth and he suddenly found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss her…for real.  He slowly moved in and she raised her mouth to his, just barely beginning to touch when they were forced apart by the discovery of the militia._

_            When they were leaving the Agency at the closing of their successful case, Amanda had stopped him in his tracks with a few words._

_            "Lee, about last night…" she had started, sounding very much like him whenever they had come too close during a case._

_            "I know, I know.  It was just two, cold people seeking a little warmth, right?"  He smiled at her, but his eyes didn't reflect the smile.  He felt a little…what?  Disappointed maybe?  _

_            Amanda smiled and played with the zipper on his jacket.  She didn't look up right away but then she forced herself to look directly into his eyes as she said, "Not exactly."  As soon as the words left her mouth, she turned and walked away, not willing to see the reaction on Lee's face._

_            __Lee's mouth fell open in surprise as he watched her leave.  What had she just said?  Had she just told him what he thought she had?_

_**********************************************************************_

            Lee smiled in remembrance of that day, what….about five months ago now?  That had been the first time he had stepped back and examined what had been happening in their relationship.  Of course he had figured she was slightly interested in him, but that had been the giant slap in the face he had needed.  He had never really considered what had been happening over the time they had spent together.  He had gone home, poured himself a glass of wine, sat down on his couch, and tried to sort everything out.  Here he was, five months later, still trying to decide what to do.  

She had been perusing their most recent case---one on the possibility of a prominent Russian nuclear physicist defecting---when Lee cleared his throat.  Amanda looked up expectantly.

"So, I guess Joe will be around a lot more now, huh?  I mean, he'll be going to ball games, taking them to the movies,….coming for dinner," Lee hedged.

Amanda shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so.  It'll be nce to have him around and in the boys' lives."

Lee nodded his head.  He tried to appear indifferent, but Amanda had just said it would be nice to have him around.  Apparently she still had feelings for him.  How strong were they?  Suddenly Lee was on uncertain ground again.  He had been musing over his feelings for Amanda for quite a while and it was relatively recently that he had come to the decision that perhaps he could admit this to her.  He was not the type to get involved in serious relationships---well at least he didn't used to be.  He knew that if he took the next step with Amanda, he'd have to be committed to a serious relationship.  It was that fact that had scared him and kept him from opening up to her.  Over the last three years, though, she had persistently and, at first, irritatingly maintained a tenacious grip on his life.  She never intruded---that wasn't like her---but she had steadfastly refused to give up on him.  He was a different man from what he had been three years ago.  Francine had spoken to him about it just recently.  It was one of those rare moments when they were just chatting amicably without any of the sarcastic ripostes they normally engaged in.

_"You know, Lee, you've really changed a lot over the last few years," Francine had remarked following Lee's story about a young Iranian boy whose life he had saved.  He had made a comment about how proud he was of the boy's bravery._

_"You sound like the boy's father.  What happened to you?  Kids used to send you running for cover…or at least for Amanda," Francine had laughed._

_"Yeah, well---it felt good to be able to help him.  He wasn't your average eight year old.  I don't know, maybe I'm just mellowing with age," Lee had laughed._

Lee realized now, however, that it wasn't so much that he was mellowing with age as it was Amanda's influence on him.  The thought now that he had taken her feelings for granted began nagging him.  He wasn't blind and he knew he could read women pretty well---even Amanda who had so often appeared to be an enigma.  He'd worked with her closely and the few times recently that he had begun to put a few feelers out, he'd been rewarded with the confirmation of his suspicions.  A few shy, secretive smiles when she thought he wasn't looking, her hand seeking his, entwining fingers looking for support, her reaction to his hand on the small of her back or at an embrace; these were the signs of a woman falling in love.  Or at least so he had thought.  He looked at her sitting at her desk and sighed.  Why had it taken him so long to notice how beautiful she was?  Someone had once complimented her on how lovely her face was what with her almond-shaped eyes and fair complexion.  She did indeed have the most beautiful, deep brown eyes he had ever seen.

He was lost in his contemplation of her when he heard her clear her throat.  He suddenly realized she was watching him stare at her and he shook himself mentally.

"Lee, what's wrong?  You seem so preoccupied," Amanda questioned.

"Amanda, I was wondering---what are you doing tonight?  If you're free---," Lee began when suddenly the door opened and Billy Melrose entered their office.

"Lee---Amanda, we just got word that Uri Andropov is definitely defecting.  We've set things up for 3:00 this afternoon.  It should be relatively simple.  It's a low-level risk, but I want you two to handle it just the same.  Here's the information on the location.  What do you think?"  Billy was all business, but he smiled at Amanda when he handed her the dossier.

Lee stood up to move next to Amanda.  Glancing over her shoulder, he nodded his approval.  "Good set-up---actually, one of the better ones I've seen.  This should be a piece of cake."

"Good---that's what I like to hear.  Make sure the back-up is in place just the same.  Do you two think you can handle it on your own?" Billy asked.

"Yeah, I don't see a problem.  What do you think, Amanda?" Lee questioned.

Amanda nodded in agreement, still intently perusing the file.  Billy smiled at Lee's deference to her.  That certainly wasn't something he would have expected of Lee just a few months back.  Amanda certainly had changed this lone wolf agent!

"Okay, I'll leave the details up to you.  See you later," Billy said as he left himself out the door.

Lee was still standing next to Amanda, but he was no longer looking over her shoulder at the file; he was looking at where her neck met her shoulders.  The combination of her perfume and the sheer proximity of her had Lee thinking of nothing else but letting his mouth trace gentle kisses along the contours of her throat.  He unconsciously leaned in a little closer.

Amanda was still looking at the information on the defection, but she hadn't been registering anything since Lee had stepped so close to her.  She could smell his cologne and feel his breath on her neck.  Her scalp was tingling and her heart started beating more quickly.  She closed her eyes as she imagined what it would feel like to have his mouth on her neck.  Was it her imagination or had he moved in closer to her?  She leaned back a hair, enough to just barely make contact with him.

"Amanda," Lee whispered hoarsely.  Could he tell her?  Could he take that chance?  "Amanda, I…"

The phone rang and Amanda jumped as if she had been stung by a bee.  "Oh!" She gasped in surprise.

Lee swore to himself and moved to his desk to answer the incessant ringing.  "Yeah?!"  He nearly shouted, frustrated beyond all reason.

Amanda put the file folder down on her desk and clasped her hands tightly behind her back, lest Lee see them shaking.  What had almost happened?  Had he been about to say something to her that she had only dreamed of him saying?  Had he been about to kiss her?

"Just a minute," Lee said tersely into the phone.  He held it out to her.  "It's for you."

Amanda took the phone and managed a strangled sounding, "Hello?"

Lee sat at his desk and ran his hands through his hair.  He was shaking and couldn't believe it.  What the hell was wrong with him?  He was no teenage school boy trying to work up the nerve to kiss his first girl.  So why was he acting like it?  And of all people to make him feel that way, Amanda?!

"Oh---tonight?"  Amanda questioned into the phone.  "Yeah, actually---that would probably be great."  

Lee looked up at that comment.  Was it Joe calling already?  They had just been together last night, for Pete's sake!  Maybe he had underestimated the seriousness of the situation here.

"Okay, I'll make sure they're ready.  Me?  Uh---," Amanda glanced at Lee.  It was Joe and he wanted to take the boys to a movie tonight.  He had just invited her, but Lee had started to ask her about something tonight.  Was he going to ask her out?  "Uh, no, Joe.  Thanks anyway."

Lee let out a breath that he had no idea he had been holding.  That was a good sign, right?  God, this was so frustrating!  He had NEVER been on such uncertain territory before in his entire life!  He knew that this whole Amanda question had turned serious when he had found himself no longer returning phone calls from the women in his black book.  Leslie had been the first real clue to him that something had changed…

"All right, I'll see you then," Amanda returned in way of good-bye as she hung up the phone.

"Joe again?" Lee asked, trying to appear casual.

"Yep.  He wants to take the boys to the movies tonight."

"Just the boys?" Lee grimaced as soon as he said the words.  Very coolly played, Stetson!

"No---he asked if I wanted to go, too."  Amanda paused.  Come on, Lee, don't disappoint me---ask me if I have other plans!

"Oh, so you have other plans, then?"

Amanda couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face.  "Well, not exactly.  At least not yet…" she trailed off.

"Mmmm---sounds like a nice, quiet evening at home for you," Lee replied.  Should he ask?

"Yeah, I guess so," Amanda commented.  Wasn't he going to ask?

Lee Stetson, top-notch agent who never quailed at any dangerous situation, lost his nerve with the housewife from Arlington.  "Well, I guess we better get everything in line for Dr. Andropov's defection, huh?"  Oh, Stetson---that was awful!

Amanda's smile felt suddenly forced and false.  "Yeah, I guess so.  I'll work on the safehouse and all the regular details for his new life," she said dully.

Lee looked at her as she got up from her desk.  She picked up her purse and walked out, shutting the door a bit loudly.  Lee slumped in his chair and shook his head.  This was so ridiculous!  Why was it so difficult for him to ask her out?  Lee shook his head and started looking through the files on his desk, but it was useless.  Until he got the entire Amanda problem resolved in his mind, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on his work.  He got up and poured himself a cup of coffee and walked over to the window.  He looked down at the street below, watching a few people walk by.  One woman got out of a cab across the street and hurriedly dashed up the steps to a law office.  She reminded him a bit of Leslie.

Now THAT had been a mess, hadn't it?  Leslie had been the gentle tapping at the door of reality before the pounding that had been the Sacker case.  She had been a far cry from his normal array of women.  She was intelligent, had a job that didn't require her to dress in some kind of skimpy outfit, and was basically a brunette who was "normal".  Lee smiled at that.  Those had been Amanda's words, not his.  "She's not right for you.  She's normal."  Boy, that relationship had really gotten Amanda's dander up.  He couldn't recall ever seeing her quite so…so…well, jealous.  Her reaction had at first bristled him, but then he had begun thinking about what she had said.  Leslie **was** more normal than any woman he had ever dated before.  What had attracted him to her?  She had a slender build, was smart, charming, funny, attractive; face it, she had been very similar to Amanda. 

He had dated Leslie for a while, but had never once made the move to further their relationship.  As a matter of fact, when their kissing began to get heated and Leslie began to take the initiative, Lee had always found some excuse to stop things before they went any farther.  She had begun to get annoyed, not that he could blame her, and the final coup d'etat came when they were out for a romantic, candlelight dinner.  He had been preoccupied all evening, thinking about Amanda and Leslie had begun to get irritated with him.  She made a comment to him and he apologized for being so distant.  He pulled her closer to him, began to kiss her, and then….it happened.  He whispered her name as he moved to kiss her neck and she had stiffened and pushed him away.  He looked at her confusedly and she glared back at him for a moment.  _"You just called me Amanda."  _

Lee's eyes had widened and he denied it, but he knew he had done it.  Leslie had been gracious enough to not dump her water on him and had left him with the parting comment that Amanda was a lucky woman to have captured him the way she had.  He had sat there for quite a while, dumbfounded at what had happened, and not a little scared.  Was that really it?  Could he really be unconsciously interested in Amanda?  It wasn't too much later that the Sacker case had happened, only about four months by his recollection, and then the rest was history.  

Lee sat back down at his desk and rubbed his hand over his face, letting his chin come to rest in the palm of his hand.  There had been a few incidents not too long ago where he had come pretty close to kissing her.  Each time they had been interrupted and he had backed off.  He had been putting on the old Scarecrow charm with each of the incidents and even though Amanda hadn't seemed to mind, he didn't want their first "real" kiss to be the same kind he had delivered to his other women in the past.  No, when he kissed Amanda, he wanted it to be real; he wanted it to be heartfelt.  And that was what finally led him to realize that it was time to get off his duff and take the initiative with her.  If she was capable of making him feel that way, then he knew he had to press on.  As much as serious relationships scared him, the prospect of one with Amanda didn't.  After all, wasn't he already involved with her in a longtime, serious relationship of sorts now?  He had known her for three years; how much more sure did he need to be?

Lee set his empty coffee cup down and stretched.  He was feeling much better now that he had reached a decision.  And he would ask Amanda out tonight when next he saw her.


	2. A Little More Time Chapter 2

Amanda was **not a happy camper.  She was irritated with Lee, but more so with herself.  How long was this game going to be played?  She was beyond frustrated.  Not only was she irritated and annoyed, she was hurt.  And out of everything else, that bothered her most of all.  She hated feeling this way.  She hadn't felt like this since she had been in high school.  Well, no…that wasn't exactly true.  She had been feeling hurt around Lee Stetson ever since she had met him.  He was so exasperating!  She never knew which way was up with him.  One day he would be wonderful: kind, caring, seemingly interested in Amanda.  The next day he would be rude, stand-offish, and short with her.**

Amanda shook her head and sat down at the computer in the little cubbyhole in the bullpen, away from the hustle and bustle of the business of the day.  She had to access the information she needed to start Dr. Andropov's life over again.  Sometimes Amanda wished **she could start her life all over again.  Well, not her entire life, just parts of it.  As she scrolled through social security and credit card information, filling out forms as need be, her thoughts wandered back over the last three years.**

The first day she had ever laid eyes on Lee Stetson was a day that was burned indelibly into her memory.  The desperate look in his hazel eyes as he pleaded with her to help him had gone right though her, piercing her soul.  From the start she knew she was doomed.  She had always been a pragmatist.  She had found a comfortable and predictable relationship with Dean.  Isn't that what was most important in life: reliability and predictability?  Enter Lee Stetson aka Scarecrow and suddenly her life was reliably unpredictable.  And, although she didn't want to admit it at first, imminently more satisfying.

There…she had said it.  She wasn't satisfied with just being a divorced mother of two in the suburbs.  She wanted so much more from life and Lee Stetson had shown her a glimpse of what that life could be.  And lately, he had shown her the tantalizing possibility of even more.

Which brought her right back to her frustrating situation now.  She and Lee had gotten closer over the last year, but more recently they had experienced a definite change.  Amanda attributed it to the night/day she had been brave (foolish?) enough to tell Lee how she felt.  Well, okay…she hadn't exactly come right out and said, "I love you, Lee.  I've loved you forever," but she had at least managed to suggest her feelings were no longer only friendly.  The Sacker case; God, could it have gotten any closer?!  It had been on the tip of her tongue---almost beyond that really---to admit to Lee her love for him.  She had even gotten the "I" out before he had looked into her eyes and all nerve fled her immediately; "really am glad to have known you," had escaped her traitorous lips.  

But the "almost" kiss; now that was something she couldn't have misinterpreted.  He **had nearly kissed her: ****would have kissed her had they not nearly been discovered.  And then the next day, she had resolved to say something to him.  As she began, he had interrupted her with the, "It was just two cold people seeking a little warmth," line.  She had broken eye contact as her nerve failed her again---all but one minuscule bit that allowed her to reply quietly, "Not exactly," and then immediately flee the scene.  She had no idea what his reaction had been--wasn't sure if she actually ****wanted to know.**

Since that time, things had definitely been different.  There had been no more women in Lee's life---at least not that Amanda had been aware of.  She was fairly certain that she knew Lee well enough to know the tell-tale signs of his late night trysts and they had been conspicuously absent since Leslie.  Amanda cringed at that memory.  Of all the women Lee had paraded in front of her, Leslie had been the one Amanda had been most…worried about?  Annoyed with?  She couldn't really put words to what she had felt.  Jealousy…definitely.  But she had been jealous in a different way from what she had ever experienced before.

Amanda supposed it was because Leslie had hit far too close to home for her comfort.  In Amanda's own words Leslie had been "normal".  Normal…but not Amanda.  If Lee was going to go for normal, what was wrong with her?  Then Lee had scared her by buying a dress just like her own "little black number" for Leslie.  She knew she had no reason to be so upset with him; after all, he had reminded her on more than one occasion that they were **just working associates; there was no more to their relationship.  But that hadn't stopped Amanda from falling in love with him.**

Amanda sighed and rubbed her eyes as she wrapped up Dr. Andropov's information.  Her shoulders were tight from the stress she had been experiencing that had absolutely nothing to do with defecting Russian scientists, espionage, or the secrets of state she was forced to keep.  She rotated her head, trying to loosen up tense muscles when suddenly she felt hands on her shoulders begin to work out the knots that were so painfully tight.  Too surprised to say anything, she closed her eyes and gave in to the sensation.  The secluded cubbyhole she was in blocked this moment from the possibility of any prying eyes and Amanda allowed a tiny moan to escape her lips as the tension began to ease.  She was desperately hoping her unseen masseuse was Lee, but at the same time she didn't want to allow that hope to blossom just to have it crushed.

"You've been working too hard---you're **really tight," Lee commented.  He had come looking for her as it had gotten close to lunch time and had found her trying to loosen her stiff neck.  He worked his thumbs up to the nape of her neck and began moving them in slow circles.  He heard Amanda moan lightly and suddenly his heart started beating faster.  Her alabaster skin was so soft and he began to envision his hands wandering, exploring all of her body.  She half-sighed/whimpered again and Lee felt light-headed.  God, didn't she know what this was doing to him?!**

God, didn't Lee know what this was doing to her?!  His hands were so slow and sensual, rubbing her shoulders and neck.  The warmth they possessed spread throughout her entire body and suddenly Amanda felt as if her heart had dropped into her stomach and her head was floating somewhere in the clouds.  Those hands were eliciting emotions and responses from her she didn't know she could feel.  She didn't dare trust herself to speak.  Oh, if this could only last forever!

Lee reluctantly slowed and eventually stopped his ministrations, but he allowed his hands to remain lightly resting on her shoulders.  He cleared his throat, trying to get some moisture back into a mouth suddenly gone dry.  "Are you all finished?"

Amanda nodded, still not able to trust her voice.  He was leaving his hands on her shoulders.  Could she work up the nerve to rest her hand on his?

"Do you want to get something to eat?  It's nearly 12:00," Lee asked.

"Sure," Amanda managed to whisper.  She didn't make a move to get up.  She didn't want to break the physical connection they shared.  His touch was electrifying and Amanda knew that she would do anything, give him anything he asked for, just to be with him.

The printer next to the computer began spitting out the data Amanda had been entering and it broke the moment.  Lee leaned over to look at the information and Amanda use that moment to stand up and take a deep breath.

"Everything looks great, Amanda.  You know, you've really gotten this stuff down pat.  You're a hell of a lot better at it than I am, that's for sure," Lee complimented.

Amanda smiled at the unexpected praise.  Comments like that were few and far between coming from Lee and she had learned early on to take them as high praise indeed when he finally let one or two slip.  "Thanks.  It's really been a lot easier since they up-dated the system with the patch right into the state bureau.  There's no more leg work involved now."

Lee smiled and shook his head.  What a difference in the Amanda of just two years ago.  This woman was much more confident and assertive than the old one.  "So, will it be Dooley's or Nedlinger's?"

Amanda considered both locations for a moment.  "How about Dooley's this time?  I'm in the mood for a cheese steak and they have the best."

Lee nodded his approval.  "Dooley's it is, then."  

When Lee and Amanda arrived at Dooley's, they chose a booth towards the back and ordered two cheesesteaks and one order of fries to split.  They chatted about inconsequential things for a while until their food came and they ordered two more sodas.  Lee opened the folder containing the information Amanda had spent the morning gathering.

"Everything looks great, Amanda.  I couldn't have done any better."  Lee sat back in the seat and stared contemplatively at the folder.  "Sometimes I wish I could start my life over again.  Well, at least parts of it," Lee mused.

Amanda's eyes opened wide at his unwitting aping of her own thoughts.  "What would you change?"

Lee looked down at his soda and stirred the ice cubes with his straw.  "I don't know really.  Sometimes I really don't like myself too much.  I can be arrogant, snobbish, generally rude….I don't set off saying I'm going to be that way on any given day; it just happens.  Not as much as it used to, but still…," Lee trailed off.

"So what else would you change?  No…let me guess…you'd go back to that train station and pick **any other woman there, right?"  Amanda laughed, only half jokingly.**

Lee sat up and put his hand on hers immediately.  "No.  Don't ever say that, Amanda.  That's probably the one thing in my life that I would **never change."  He looked directly at her when he said that and his hand enveloped hers, squeezing it gently.**

Amanda smiled at the comment and what it implied.  "I'm awfully glad you picked me that day.  My life has changed so completely since the day I met you---and for the better."

Lee returned the smile and sat back against the high-backed booth seat again.  "You know what I'd really like to change?  My relationship track record.  It's actually not something I'm very proud of."  Lee started to play with his napkin.

"You know, everyone makes mistakes when it comes to relationships, Lee.  Look at my 'track record'.  I divorced one man and very nearly dumped another at the altar!"  Amanda laughed lightly.  She shook her head and took a sip of her soda.

"Who was that---Dean?"  Lee asked.

"Hey!  You finally got his name right," Amanda joked.  "Yeah, he had all but gone out and bought the ring."

Lee looked at her and wondered how much he could ask without crossing any boundaries.  She hadn't willingly offered up much information on Dean and he didn't want to pry, but something in Amanda's eyes told him she needed to talk about it.  "So---you never really did tell me what happened.  Did he call the relationship off or did you?"

Amanda laughed disparagingly at herself.  "Oh no…it was all me.  Mother wouldn't speak to me for three days."  She sobered and continued.  "It was the hardest thing I've had to do in a very long time.  He had stopped by to surprise me the night I was going with you to the party at the Chinese embassy.  He saw me all dressed up and wanted to know what I was doing and where I was going."

"I remember that night.  When I picked you up you looked somewhere between furious and ready-to-cry," Lee commented. 

"Oh---I didn't think you had noticed.  Well, I **was furious.  We got into a bit of a fight, something we had never done before, and he accused me of being involved with someone else.  Under the circumstances, it certainly looked that way.  We argued a bit more and I finally said if he didn't trust me than our relationship was going nowhere and maybe we needed to re-examine what we both wanted," Amanda finished.  She had trimmed some of the story down.  Dean had come right out and accused her having an affair with her "new boss" at that film company she was working for.  He hadn't wanted to let it drop, so finally Amanda had told him that yes, she was in love with someone else.  When she had said it, it was simply a way of putting an end to the argument.  He left the house and Amanda had sat down on her sofa.  It had begun to dawn on her that maybe she wasn't so far off the mark with that comment.  The "furious" part Lee had noticed was Amanda's anger at the whole situation.  The "ready-to-cry" part was her realization of how she was beginning to feel towards Lee and the knowledge that there was no "emotional involvement" between them: his words, not hers.**

Lee looked at Amanda and sensed there was a lot she wasn't telling him, but he didn't want to push her.  "So, how do you know when the right person comes along?  What are the signs?"  Lee sat back up and traced her hand lightly with his fingers.

Amanda smiled.  "Well for one, you won't be able to stop thinking about her.  You'll find any excuse to be near her.  You won't be able to see yourself with anyone else and other women will hold no interest for you."  Amanda found herself looking at his features, his beautiful hazel eyes and dimples as he smiled at her.  It would be so easy to tell him everything…  "He would be strong, protective, caring…I'd look into his eyes and know he wanted me for who I was."  Lee's hand tightened on hers and Amanda plunged ahead.  "Whenever I'm near him, it's hard to concentrate.  All I can think of is how it would feel to be in his arms, to be kissed by him, to have him love me…," she trailed off.

Lee looked at her.  He hadn't missed the change in what she was saying.  She had started with putting things in **his perspective but had changed to how she would feel.  She had finished by talking about "the right one" in the present tense---as if he already existed.  She was staring at him and he began to think maybe she was talking about him.  He stared at her, trying to work up the courage to say something to her…**

He was staring at her.  Was that good or bad?  Amanda felt herself losing her nerve.  He was looking at her the same way he had on the Sacker case when she had started to tell him she loved him.  "Lee…..,"

"Can I get you folks anything else?"  The waitress appeared at the table and Amanda jumped back.  Lee blinked a few times as if he had just awakened from a dream.

"Uh, no thank you," Amanda stammered.  

"Okay---well, here's your bill.  Have a good day!"

Lee reached for the bill and took his wallet out.  "This is my treat, Amanda."

Amanda nodded her thanks but discovered she really couldn't say anything yet.  She felt as if fate was conspiring against her.  Every time she tried to tell Lee how she felt, she either lost her nerve or was interrupted.  Maybe somebody was trying to tell her something.

"Amanda?"  Lee's voice broke through.

"What?  Oh, I'm sorry.  I wasn't paying attention," Amanda replied sheepishly.

"I asked if you were ready to go.  We should get ourselves set up ahead of time for the defection," Lee repeated.  He frowned at her.  "Are you okay?  You're awfully distracted."

Amanda took one final sip of her soda and cleared her throat.  "Yeah---I'm just a little tired."

They stood up and as Lee paid the bill, Amanda stepped into the ladies' room.  She splashed a little water on her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror.  "I'm beginning to think this is never going to happen.  Maybe I should just give up.  I'm so far out of his league anyhow.  Can't I just be content with having him in my life as a friend?"  Amanda pinched the bridge of her nose and walked out.  Lee was waiting at the door for her.  He smiled as he held the door open and they walked out to his car.

They drove in companionable silence to the train station: the scheduled place for the defection.  Each was wrapped up in their own thoughts and neither felt ready to part without saying something.  Lee pulled into a parking space and turned the engine off.  Glancing at his watch, he estimated he had twenty minutes before he needed to get into place.  He looked at Amanda who was staring out the window at the hustle and bustle of the station.  Say it, Stetson.  Tell her what you're thinking.  Tell her you want to take your relationship to the next level.  You're ready---she's ready. You're falling for her---**hard.  How difficult would it be to tell her….?**

Amanda turned and caught Lee staring at her again.  She smiled at him and he smiled back.  "Lee, I was wondering…since no one will be home tonight, do you want to come over later?  I could make us a couple of steaks…," Amanda trailed off, uncertain as to his reaction.

Lee brightened at the suggestion.  "That sounds great!  I'll stop after the debriefing and pick up a bottle of wine."

Amanda relaxed and also immediately felt nervous.  He was coming to her house tonight.  Just the two of them: alone.  No shop talk.  And perhaps the chance to explore their feelings.  "That sounds perfect.  Joe is coming around 6:30 and Mother is leaving before that.  We should have at least until 10:30."

Lee smiled.  "Just you and me?  Shall we call this a date?"

Amanda felt herself flush red and her face grew hot.  "I think that's a good idea."

Lee took her hand and brought it to his lips.  Not taking his eyes off hers, he lightly brushed his mouth across her fingers.  A shock coursed through Amanda's body as his eyes locked with hers.  "Until tonight," Lee whispered and then smiled at her devilishly.

Amanda laughed lightly at his flirting and then handed him the small, long-range microphone and ear piece they would use to keep in touch.  "Be careful, Lee.  Make sure you keep me up-dated.  And you're sure it's safe for you to take a cab back to The Agency?

Lee nodded as he clipped the small microphone on the inside of his jacket collar.  "Amanda, this is probably the least dangerous scenarios I've ever seen.  Don't worry.  And besides…I'll be in contact with you throughout the entire defection.  This is a piece of cake."

"I've known easy, 'piece-of-cake' assignments to blow up in our faces before.  Just be careful," Amanda reminded him.

"I'm just glad I got an automatic this time around," lee teased, handing her the keys to his baby.  Lee opened the car door and got out.  "I'll see you later….about 7:00?"

Amanda nodded.  "Sounds good.  I'll leave your keys on your desk."

Lee zipped is jacket up and winked at her.  "I like my steak rare."

"I'll remember that," Amanda laughed.  She shook her head and watched his departing figure.  Just when things seemed to be going wrong and she was beginning to doubt his feelings for her, he threw her a curve ball.  Leave it to Lee to keep her guessing.  Her eyes traveled from his silken hair down his back, and came to rest briefly on other attributes he possessed. Amanda felt her face redden at her boldness, but she didn't look immediately away.  No one could deny that Lee Stetson was, among many other things, packaged quite nicely.

While Amanda waited patiently, listening for any problems Lee may encounter, her thoughts strayed ahead to their "date" later this evening.  What might happen?  She was pretty sure that Lee was beginning to feel the same way about her that she felt towards him.  Three years ago she doubted Lee would have entertained the notion of anything between himself and a housewife, but she was certainly **not that same woman.  The old Amanda had been shy and a bit reserved.  She had purposely cooled it own with Dean because she had always been a "good girl".  Unless there was a ring on her finger, she didn't feel right having a physical relationship with any man.  She had only ever been with Joe and that hadn't happened until their wedding night.  She had always been a "good girl" and had never once thought about being any other way.  Until three years ago.**

Amanda laughed silently at the memory of a stake out in her car a few months or so after Lee had come into her life.  She had told Lee about her mother's gentle attack on her activities of late.  She had accused Amanda of being involved in a clandestine love affair.  When she had told Lee about it, he had laughed and said her mother should know her better than that---Amanda wasn't "the type".  That had really stung.  She had looked at Lee and been irritated.

_"I don't know how you can say that.  You never can know who might be the type to do what.  I mean look at me---I'm not 'the type' to be a spy and…"  _

_Lee looked at her and her breath caught.  He was sooo handsome and, if even **half of the rumors she heard about him were true, he was an  incredible lover.  Amanda felt her resolve to be a "good girl" melt away and suddenly she found herself saying something ****very un-Amanda like.**_

_"Well, you never can tell what someone would do under certain circumstances…" she trailed off and before she knew it, he grabbed her and pulled her to him.  Her heart was pounding wildly when he said, ""There's a local patrol passing by.  This looks much more natural."_

Had it been her imagination or had the normally smooth and cool Lee Stetson sounded ruffled and bothered?  She had taken the opportunity to caress his cheek, touch him in a way she had never had the courage to do under normal circumstances.  God, his scent had driven her wild.  And it was then that Amanda had realized that, given the chance, she would most certainly **not be a "good girl" with Lee Stetson.**

Amanda's face flushed as she remembered back to that night and other, similar situations she had found herself in.  She knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would give Lee anything he ever asked of her and do it willingly, with no expectations for the future.  But just as Amanda was not the same woman she had been three years ago, she knew that neither was Lee the same man he had been.  Yes, tonight could be a very interesting first step for them both.

"Amanda---I see Andropov.  We're moving now to put the plan into effect.  Stand by," Lee's voice came through the receiver Amanda held in her hands.

"I copy," Amanda replied.  In her mind, Amanda pictured what was now transpiring.  Lee was entering the turnstile that would put him on platform twelve.  The Russian scientist was boarding the train on platform eleven.  He would walk though the cars and exit through the other side as the train began to pull out.  He would then hop on the train Lee was boarding and they would get off at the second stop, just outside of DC.  From there they would catch a cab back to The Agency where Lee would take Dr. Andropov to Billy and the debriefing team.  It **was the perfect set-up; that's why Amanda was worried.**

The minutes ticked by slowly and Amanda began to worry.  She didn't want to contact Lee in case he was in no place to respond.  Just as she was about ready to call Billy, Lee's voice came to her over the headset.

"Okay, Amanda.  We're in the clear.  We have a cab and we're on our way back to The Agency.  I'll see you tonight---around 7:00."

Amanda breathed a sigh of relief.  "Gotcha.  See you then."  Amanda moved into the driver's seat and made her way through the busy downtown streets to The Agency.


	3. A Little More Time Chapter 3

It was already approaching 5:00 when Amanda managed to finally leave work.  She hadn't seen Lee, but she knew he had arrived safely and was still in the debriefing with Billy. Checking her watch, Amanda stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner.  She got home shortly before 6:00 to discover Joe's car out front already.

Amanda grabbed the bag of groceries she had picked up and made her way to the front door.  Before she could get her key in the lock, the door opened and Joe reached for the bag in her hand.

"Hi, Joe," Amanda greeted him.  "You're early."

"Hey, Sweetheart," Joe said by way of greeting.  "Yeah, Dotty called and asked if I could come over early.  She wanted to leave a bit earlier for her 'hot date' and since she didn't know when you'd be home, she didn't want to leave the boys alone."  Joe led Amanda to the kitchen where her mother had left her a note explaining her absence.

Amanda read over the note and raised her eyebrow at the last line.  "'Don't wait up'?  That's not like Mother."

"Yeah, well---she seems pretty smitten with this new guy.  What's his name?  Captain Kirk?" Joe asked.

Amanda laughed.  "No, it's Captain **Kurt.  He only pilots an airplane, not a starship."  Amanda began putting the groceries away as Joe leaned on the counter watching her.  "Are the boys ready?" She glanced at the clock over the sink; it was going on 6:15.**

"Just about.  They're upstairs putting their sneakers on."  Joe straightened up and walked around the counter to where Amanda stood.  "Why don't you come with us?  We'd love to have you.  It would be like we were all a family again."  Joe smiled at her.  "Besides, I'll share my popcorn."

Amanda laughed and shook her head.  "No---you **never share your popcorn!"**

"I'm serious, Amanda.  I'd really like it if you came."  Joe touched her arm lightly.

Amanda suddenly felt funny.  Here was a man she knew and loved, asking her on a date.  He was warm, sincere, and part of her family, even though they were divorced.  She used to dream of them getting back together….and it would be so easy and predictable.

Amanda cringed inwardly.  There was that word again: predictable.  Predictable led to boring and that was certainly something she didn't want.  But as she looked into her ex-husband's eyes, she saw the love for her there and knew what a wonderful man he was.

"No, really Joe.  Thanks, but I've been looking forward to some time to myself tonight.  Maybe next time, okay?"  Amanda finally answered.  Philip and Jamie chose that moment to come bounding downstairs and Joe stepped away from her.

"Okay---**next time.  You fellas ready to get something to eat?"  Joe turned and picked up his jacket.**

"You bet!  I'm starved!"  Philip replied enthusiastically.

"Can we get pizza, Dad?" Jamie piped in.

"Sounds good to me.  Let's go," Joe answered.

"You guys be good for your dad!"  Amanda called after them as they bounded out the door.  Amanda smiled and turned back to survey the kitchen.  Looking up at the clock she noted it was 6:30.  Her stomach did a small flip as she thought ahead to when Lee would arrive.  She went upstairs to her bedroom to change.  Amanda rifled through her drawers, not sure what she should wear.  She selected and discarded three outfits before settling on her favorite white sweater and a pair of jeans.  She hurriedly did a touch-up on her make-up and lightly sprayed her favorite perfume on her neck and wrists.  Quickly looking at her reflection in the mirror, Amanda made her way back downstairs into the kitchen.

She glanced at the clock again: 6:45.  She didn't have anything to do; the steaks and salad wouldn't take long to make.  Amanda decided to set the table and light a few scented candles around the house.  That accomplished she looked at the clock again: 6:58.  God!  She was **so nervous!  Her stomach was doing somersaults and now she found herself pacing back and forth in the kitchen.  Amanda was surprised she felt this way.  It's not like this was her first date--- heck, it wasn't really technically a date!  Lee was coming over for dinner---that was all.  'Who are you kidding, Amanda King?' She thought to herself.  'He has you so hot and bothered you can't even concentrate!'  Would he kiss her tonight?  Wasn't it the perfect setting?  Amanda closed her eyes, imagining how it might finally happen.  She knew he'd take her face in his hands and pull her gently to him.  His lips would part and he would….  Amanda's thoughts abruptly ended as she heard a light tapping on her back door.  She looked out and saw him standing there, flashing her his gorgeous smile and she moved to open the door.**

"Hi!"  Lee handed her the bottle of wine he had in his hand.  "Just like I promised…a nice Beaujolais to go with our steaks."  Lee closed the door behind him and slipped his jacket off.

"Great," Amanda replied, setting the wine on the counter and reaching out to take his jacket from him.  Her hand brushed his lightly and she felt a tingle run up her spine.  Amanda deposited his jacket on the back of the couch and then came back around to the sink where Lee was leaning.

"So…how's Dr. Andropov fairing?" she asked.

"Good….good.  He's staying the night at one of The Agency's safe houses and then tomorrow he's being moved to a permanent home in Baltimore."  Lee smiled and shook his head.  "I can't get over how smoothly everything went."

Amanda laughed lightly.  "Well, The Agency did put it's best agent on the case."

"**Agents.  You did a hell of a job with all the detail work.  And if you hadn't been there as back-up, anything could have gone wrong," Lee replied.**

Amanda smiled.  "Wow….that was a nice compliment.  I remember a time when you'd sooner get shot than give me any praise."

Lee looked a little uncomfortable.  "I know.  I'm not very proud of that.  But that was a long time ago and I've changed since then."

"Yes, you have.  We both have, I think," Amanda replied.

"Do you think maybe we're the reason each other has changed?" Lee questioned, looking directly at Amanda.

"Well, I can't answer for you, but I know I've changed an awful lot because of you.  You've done so much for me, whether you realize it or not.  I don't think I'm the same woman I was three years ago."  Here Amanda paused to look up at Lee.  She wasn't sure how he would react to her opening up like this.  She knew the old expression of tears being more frightening to him than bullets; this was close enough.  "Thank you, Lee.  Thank you for waking me up and showing me what I was missing."

Lee reached out and took her both her hands in his.  "Amanda, I'm the one who should be thanking you.  You've done all that for me and more.  I owe a lot to the best partner anyone could have."

"I'll drink to that," Amanda replied, smiling.

Lee laughed and released her hands to turn and pick up the bottle of wine.  "Where's your corkscrew?  I'll open this up and let it breathe for a while."

Amanda fished through her kitchen drawers and produced the article.  Handing it to Lee, Amanda turned to the refrigerator and began assembling dinner.

They sat down to eat dinner around 8:00 and enjoyed each other's conversation and company for the better part of an hour.  They chatted about everything and nothing, discussing people at The Agency and movies they had seen.  They joked about the gossip center…the water cooler…and both remarked on how Lee's name had been conspicuously absent in that hot bed of intrigue.  Lee told outrageous stories from his past while Amanda laughed and she, in turn, filled him in on events in her past.

As their after-dinner discussion progressed, Amanda felt herself becoming more and more distracted.  Lee had chosen to sit right next to her instead of across the table and he had actually edged his chair closer to her as the evening went on. Amanda was feeling very warm and very light-headed; a fact she attributed to both Lee's proximity and the amount of wine she had imbibed.  Normally, Amanda had one glass, perhaps two.  Tonight, somehow, she had polished off nearly four.  This was completely out of character for her.  She was a little embarrassed at herself.  One bad side effect it was producing was a false sense of courage.  She felt herself falling into Lee's hazel eyes and knew, without a doubt, that if he kissed her tonight, she would in all likelihood be willing to do anything he would want.  Heck, if he didn't kiss her tonight, Amanda might kiss **him.  At that thought, Amanda surreptitiously leaned a little closer to Lee, concentrating on his mouth.  His lips were so inviting….**

"Amanda?  Are you all right?  You haven't acknowledged anything I've said for the past five minutes," Lee broke in to her reverie.

"I'm sorry.  I'm just so distracted by how…..," _near you are, how good you smell, how badly I want to kiss you, Amanda filled in silently.  Aloud she said, "how much wine I've had tonight.  I never drink this much and it's really gone to my head."_

Lee laughed and arched his eyebrow.  "Amanda King, are you telling me you're drunk?"

"No!  I just feel a little lightheaded is all."  Amanda was embarrassed that Lee thought she was drunk.  She looked at him and he smiled and patted her hand.

"It's okay, Amanda.  I was only kidding."  He left his hand on hers and was surprised when she caught and held on to it.  He looked at her and suddenly felt a bit warm.  She was saying something to him about how she rarely drank, but that was all he could make of it.  Her fingers were slowly tracing their way up and down his hand.  All the hairs on his arm were standing up as if an electrical current was running through him.  Her fingers were beginning to move higher up his arm where he had pushed the sleeve of his sweater up.  He twisted his arm over and suddenly she was tracing her fingers up and down the highly sensitive inside of his arm.

Lee gasped and felt another shiver run through his body.  What was she doing to him?  The feelings he was experiencing were so mixed up he hardly knew which end was up.  As her fingers kept moving she kept talking, but Lee couldn't focus on any of her conversation.  His heart felt like it would burst out of his chest if she kept it up much longer.  He couldn't decide whether or not she was relaxing him so much he would fall asleep or if he was becoming so aroused he was likely to reach out, pull her into his arms, and take her upstairs to her bedroom.  His eyes closed halfway and he looked at her.  She was beautiful….and she had managed to break through nearly every barrier he had erected around himself over the years.  He was ready to take the next step in their relationship.  He started to lean closer for a kiss….

"Wow……I guess I better start to clean up since it's getting late.  It would be kind of hard to explain why there's an extra setting here, huh?" Amanda replied, standing up and grabbing Lee's plate.

Lee's eyes snapped open and he sat up.  Amanda was already at the sink.  When did she get so damned fast?  He got up and brought the rest of the dishes to her, frustrated beyond belief.  She already had her hands in soapy water and was still chatting away about something, but the only thing Lee was capable of concentrating on was the way her sweater had slipped down to expose one, alabaster shoulder.  His eyes traces the path from her shoulder to her neck and he stepped closer to her…..

"Here……would you mind drying the dishes for me, Lee?" Amanda threw a towel over the shoulder Lee had been staring at, oblivious to what was transpiring in his mind.  All she knew was that she didn't dare stop talking.  She knew she had been running her mouth a mile a minute, but Amanda was terrified that if she stopped talking, she would let her feelings get the better of her.  She couldn't believe just how close she had come to kissing him.  What had she been thinking?!  God, sometimes she was so ridiculous!  She wasn't certain about Lee's feelings towards her and if she had kissed him…..she shuddered to think what might have happened.  She could just imagine the look on Lee's face.  He'd probably even break it off and back up.  That would most likely be followed by "The Speech".  She could imagine the variation this time.  _'Amanda, you've been drinking and…'_

Wait a minute.  What if she **did kiss him tonight?  If he didn't respond to her, she could apologize later and blame the wine.  If he ****did respond…..could she dare to even hope?  Maybe, just maybe, she ****should try to kiss him…..**

Lee took the towel and began drying the dishes and silverware as Amanda handed them to him.  As they finished up, Lee dropped the towel over the sink and Amanda drained it.  He was trying to decide just when to kiss her.  He wasn't sure when he had lost the old "Scarecrow Charm"….he was always smooth and sexy, causing the woman he had his eye on to nearly tremble in his presence.  There was something about Amanda, though, that brought out Lee Stetson, not Scarecrow.  And Lee Stetson was a very different man from Scarecrow.  Perhaps that was why he was so uncertain around Amanda.  She knew the **real man, not the alias like other women knew.  He didn't want to mess this up because he had only shown "Lee Stetson" to two other women, both times with disastrous results.  Dorothy had died, breaking his heart early on.  Eva had chosen another man and then, years later, had shown her true colors by being willing to kill him in cold blood.  Amanda was the third woman….and so very different.  What was that old saying?  The third time is the charm?  _Yeah, and three strikes and you're out, too, Stetson._**

"Oh, there's a fork left that I missed," Amanda said, breaking into Lee's reverie.  She rinsed it off and Lee reached from behind her to take the towel one more time.  She held the fork in her hand for Lee to take, but when she felt his body press against hers as he leaned to take the towel, she dropped it in the sink.  She didn't move, but her face began to flush and her breathing became shallow as she started to shake a little.

Lee had meant only to grab the towel, but as his arms went around her to take it, he suddenly became acutely aware of how close he was to her.  His body was pressed up against hers and it was a pleasant surprise to feel how well she fit against him.  He felt her shake a little and heard the fork clatter as it fell from her hands.  Instead of taking the towel, Lee wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and leaned closer to her.  He bent down to the point where her shoulder met her neck….the spot that had been enticing him for quite some time.  He breathed in her scent and exhaled gently, watching as goose bumps arose at the sensation.  He heard her sharp intake of breath as his mouth descended on her shoulder, kissing it lightly.  Lee encountered no resistance as he slowly trailed soft kisses along the contours of her shoulder, heading to her neck.  Just the opposite….his mouth reached her neck and she leaned her head to the opposite side, granting him better access to his goal.

Amanda thought she was going to collapse on the spot.  When Lee's arms tightened around her waist and he began to kiss her shoulder, she thought her heart would explode it was beating so hard.  As his mouth slowly began moving closer to her neck, other feelings began shooting though her; feelings she hadn't experienced in years.  Her stomach felt full of butterflies and her hands were trembling so badly she had to grasp the sink to steady them.  She wanted so badly to feel his mouth on her throat, her mouth, her…… God, her body was on **fire.  His mouth was on her neck and she tilted her head to give him more of her sensitive skin to kiss.  Was this really happening or was this a dream?  Was Lee Stetson actually kissing her?  She moaned softly as his mouth found her ear and she felt him pull her more tightly to him.  And then she believed everything was indeed happening.  She could feel his desire for her and she struggled to keep her emotions in check, but she was afraid she wouldn't be able to hold on to them much longer.  She wanted him like she had never wanted anyone before….she never even knew she could feel this way.**

"'Manda," Lee whispered as he fought to control himself.  His hands moved away from her waist to travel up her arms, coming to rest on her shoulders.  She straightened up to lean back against him, pressing her body closer to him and moaned softly.

It was Lee's turn to feel on fire.  His body responded to her closeness and his senses reeled as he turned her around to face him.  Her chocolate brown eyes gazed into his and he felt drawn in to them.  His hand came up to caress her cheek and she reached up to grasp his hand.  She bent her mouth to it and lightly brushed her lips across his knuckles and then his fingers, never breaking eye contact.  His heart was racing and his thoughts were in a whirl.  He could barely see straight but each time Amanda's lips came in contact with his skin, Lee thought he very well might explode.  He removed his hand from her grasp and reached gently around to the back of her neck, pulling her to him.  His eyes began to close as he moved to touch his mouth to hers…

Amanda abruptly pulled away and Lee's eyes flew open.  Had he crossed the line?  What had he done?  He thought she had wanted this as much as he did.

"Amanda…," he began.

"Shhhh," Amanda cautioned, putting her fingers to his lips.  "I thought I heard something."

Lee paused and listened.  Hearing nothing, he captured her finger between his teeth and lightly rang his tongue around it.  Her response to this was more than enough to assuage any doubts he may have had about her feelings.  Then he heard it, too.  It sounded like……..

"Car doors!" They both said at the same time.  There was that one, brief moment where they stood rooted to the spot like deer caught in headlights.  Then, as the front door opened, Lee flew out the back one.  Amanda turned to see Lee's jacket still on the couch just as Joe and the boys walked in.  She ran to meet them at the door.

"Hey, Fellas!  How was the movie?" She asked, preventing them from heading towards the kitchen and Lee's jacket.

"It was great!  There was lots of action and plenty of great effects!" Philip exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah, Mom….it was really cool.  At one point we got to see a guy's head get blown off," Jamie interjected.

Amanda raised her eyebrow at this and Joe shrugged.  "Well, it's getting late.  Why don't you guys run upstairs and get changed for bed?"

"Okay, Mom," they both acknowledged.

Joe turned to Amanda and smiled.  "So, how was your 'me time' tonight?"

Amanda's hand shot to her neck where she could still feel Lee's mouth.  "It was…..something I've been looking forward to for a long time."

Joe smiled again.  "Well, you certainly look different….more….I don't know.  Alive, I guess.  Whatever you did gave you more color and makes you look a lot happier.  It definitely agreed with you."

Amanda blushed furiously and wasn't quite sure what to say.  She heard Jamie and Philip's voices raise in what sounded like an argument and Joe offered to go up and settle it.  As soon as he was out of sight, Amanda raced to the couch to retrieve Lee's jacket.  She went to the door and opened it, looking for him.

"Pssst," Lee called from the gazebo.  Amanda met him there and handed him his jacket.

"Thanks," he replied, not knowing what else to say….just knowing he didn't want to leave like this.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Amanda said by way of breaking the awkward silence.  

"Yeah.  Uh…..Amanda?" Lee started.

"Yeah?"

"There's a party at the Mexican embassy Friday night.  Would you like to go?"

"Is it an assignment?  Are you meeting someone?" Amanda questioned.

"No…..it's just I got an invitation and wanted to know if you'd like to go as my date," Lee replied, looking up at her.

"Your date?"  Amanda was shocked.  He was asking her out on a real date?

"Yeah."

Amanda blinked a few times and then smiled.  "I'd love to go with you."

Lee smiled back and nodded his head.  "Okay, it's a date.  I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Okay."

He hesitated a moment, unsure as to whether or not he should do or say anything more.  They heard Joe's voice and Amanda turned to leave.

"Amanda…..," he started, unwilling let her go so easily.  She turned in expectation.  He leaned over and gave her a quick, chaste kiss.  "See you, " he muttered and began to leave.

She smiled….laughed really.  "See you."


	4. A Little More Time Chapter 4

The three days between her "me time" and her date with Lee went slowly in Amanda's opinion.  Dragged through mud was more how it felt.  She saw Lee once, briefly, the entire time.  He was busy with a case Francine had been working on before she twisted her ankle and was laid up.  He stepped in to finish up for her and had been immediately thrown into a mess between two groups of Saudi Arabian women.  It was actually rather amusing when looked at from a distance.  Neither group trusted the other and both groups were enamored of Lee.  The unfortunate and rather funny thing was that they were all women who were around middle age.  Apparently they were two factions of a defecting harem and Lee certainly had his hands full.  The one time Amanda had seen Lee, he looked about ready to have a nervous breakdown.  He had a minute to say to Amanda, "Friday still on?"  She had said yes and before she could do or say more, the "leader" of the one group grabbed him and pulled him with her to disappear around a corner.

Amanda smiled at the memory and then glanced at the clock.  She should start to get ready.  She went upstairs and started to run the shower as she slipped out of her clothes.  As she got in, she realized how tense she was.  She had told her mother mostly the truth; she was going to the Mexican embassy with her boss from IFF.  It was an evening out: not really business, not completely a date.  Dotty had seemed satisfied.  She had even helped Amanda pick out a gown for the affair.

Now, as the hot water cascaded down Amanda's shoulders and back, she thought ahead to her night and her escort.  She was as anxious as she had been when she was only a teenager on her first date.  This was almost ridiculous.  Why did he always make her feel like this?  But feeling nervous about tonight---the fluttering feeling in her stomach---was nothing compared to how she had felt just a few nights ago.  When his mouth had descended on her shoulder, her knees had actually buckled and it felt as if her senses would go into overload.  When his hands slowly traced their way up her arms to come to rest on her shoulders, Amanda felt like the path they had taken was burned into her skin.  Every place his body had come in contact with hers tingled and she had felt an almost electrical shock course through her.

Amanda closed her eyes as the water sprayed over her.  She wondered what might have happened if Joe and the boys hadn't come home.  She remembered Lee turning her around to face him and touching her cheek.  She thought of how bold she had been to take his hand and kiss his fingers.  She knew she hadn't imagined the desire in his eyes as he leaned in to kiss her.  What would that kiss have been like?  As excited as she had been, Amanda knew that feeling would have led her into uncertain territory.  Her "good girl" beliefs had never been a problem for her before.  Maybe that was because the men she had dated had never really hit her as strong emotionally and physically as Lee had.  Would she continue to be a "good girl"?  She was probably getting ahead of herself anyhow.  Who was she to say that Lee wanted her like that?

Amanda stepped out of the shower and into her bathrobe.  As she dried her hair and continued her preparations, Amanda's mind was still working over time.

"So what would I do **if Lee wanted me?  He has to be the most incredibly handsome man I have ever seen.  And he has opened up so much to me…I know him better than I've known anyone, except for maybe Joe.  The way he makes me feel when I'm with him is something I can't even describe.  It's not like I've just met him; we've known each other for three years now.  But I don't want him to think I'm like his 'Randi-Babies', either.  How does he feel about me?  Does he want a relationship or just a….."**

Frustrated, Amanda stopped her mental tirade and looked long and hard at her reflection.  Where Lee was concerned, she decided all her "normal" reactions were null and void.  She was getting ahead of herself and decided to stop worrying about situations that would probably not present themselves; and if they did, it would be a bridge to be crossed at that time.

Amanda left her bathroom and slipped into her gown.  It was different from her normal taste in clothes and she attributed that fact to her mother's influence in her decision.  It was deep, blood red made from a shimmering material that conformed to her body.  It was a strapless gown that hugged her body in all the right places and had a slit that went quite a bit farther than she was used to.  She had borrowed a rhinestone choker and earrings from her mother to complete the outfit and, as she put them on, she couldn't help but be a little impressed with herself.  She certainly didn't look like a suburban housewife, that much was for sure!  She wondered at Lee's reaction to her appearance tonight, what would he think?

"Amanda….I think your date is here!"  Dotty called from downstairs.  Amanda looked out her window in surprise to see Lee coming up the walkway to the front door.  He was letting her mother see him?  She paused for a moment to watch Lee.  He was dressed in a black tuxedo and he looked fantastic.  She watched him as he rang the doorbell and fiddled nervously with his bow tie.  She smiled at his discomfiture and turned to go downstairs.  She could hear her mother talking to Lee and could just imagine what she was thinking. 

"So-----**you're Amanda's boss?  Mr. Steadman, right?"  Dotty was asking, her eyes wide and appreciative with a tremendous smile on her face.**

"Well, supervisor would be closer.  And it's Stetson: Lee Stetson," Lee replied, looking rather like a trapped animal, but managing one of his dimpled smiles.

"Hello," Amanda said as she got to the bottom of the stairs.  Lee turned to greet her and his jaw dropped at the sight of her.  "Amanda, you look…….," _gorgeous, incredibly sexy, tempting… "spectacular," Lee managed to croak out loud._

Dotty looked from Amanda to the drop-dead gorgeous man waiting to escort her to the party.  She saw the smoldering look that passed between them and knew, without a doubt, that here was the reason Amanda had lost all interest in Dean and any other men.  "Well, I don't want to keep you two.  Go to the party and have a **wonderful time," Dotty said as she handed Amanda her wrap.  Softly, but not too softly that Lee couldn't hear her, she said to Amanda, "I won't wait up."**

Amanda looked at her mother and blushed furiously.  "Mother!"

Dotty laughed lightly and winked at Lee as she gently propelled her daughter into his arms.  "Go!  Oh, and Lee….she dances a wonderful tango!"

Amanda suddenly found herself on her front doorstep with Lee as the door shut behind her.  "I don't know what got in to her!  She's never been like that before.  I'm sorry about what she said, Lee."

He cleared his throat and tried to tear his eyes off her body in order to reply.  "I'm not," was all he managed to say.

Amanda looked at him and realized that he had yet to stop staring at her.  Normally this would have caused her to become self-conscious but tonight she felt brazen.  She moved her leg just enough to cause the slit in her gown to part and show her leg up to her mid-thigh.  She watched as Lee's eyes were drawn down to her ankle and then slowly traveled back up.  "You look fantastic, Lee."

Lee looked up and blinked a few times as he struggled to make sense of what she had said.  With a supreme effort he proffered his arm to her and led her to his car.  "Thanks, Amanda."  He paused while he helped her into the car and shut her door.  He walked slowly back around to the driver's side, his mind and libido whirling.  When he got in and started the car, Lee looked sidelong at Amanda.  Once again his eyes traveled up to the slit in her dress and he found it difficult to work any moisture into his suddenly dry mouth.  Did she have any idea what the sight of her was doing to him?

"This is a different look for you," Lee said as they drove though the suburban streets on their way to DC.

"What's wrong?  Don't you like it?" Amanda asked, a bit anxiously.

"No---," Lee said quickly.  "I didn't say that.  I'm just used to you looking….more…."

"Housewife-ish?" Amanda filled in.

"No!  And stop putting words in my mouth, will you?!  You're always beautiful but tonight you're a knock-out," Lee finally finished, looking at her and smiling.

Amanda broke into a tremendous smile and patted Lee's hand which was resting on the gear shift.  "Thank you, Lee. That means a lot coming from you."

They entered the Mexican Embassy together with Lee presenting the invitation at the door.  They passed through a metal detector where Lee had to leave his gun.  They then moved forward into the marble-columned hallway where guests were gathered in small groups and waiters moved expertly through the crowd, taking drink orders and making deliveries.  Lee deftly snagged two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and handed one to Amanda.  He held his glass up to hers and offered a toast.

"Here's to the next step," Lee said quietly, smiling at her.

Amanda arched one eyebrow and returned the smile.  "The next step?"

"Yes----for us," Lee replied.

Amanda looked at him for a moment and then touched her glass to his.  "I'll drink to that."

They sipped their champagne and Lee put his arm around her waist as he led her into the ballroom.  There was a large buffet set up on one side and tables circled the massive dance floor.  People were sitting at the tables, talking with each other.  The band was playing light dinner music, waiting for the ambassador to signal the start of the dancing.  Lee and Amanda chose a table near the far wall, close to an outside balcony, and sat down. 

"Are you hungry?  I'll get you something to eat," Lee offered.

"Okay.  But you don't have to go get it," Amanda answered, standing up.

"No---I insist.  I know what you like," Lee replied.  He started to turn and then looked back at her.  "Why don't you sit down and relax?"  He wouldn't admit it, but Lee felt as though every man in the place was looking at her.  While she was sitting, they at least couldn't see her legs!

Amanda frowned slightly in puzzlement.  "Okay."

As Lee made his way to the buffet, Amanda looked around in awe.  The Mexican Embassy was beautiful and the festive decor made her feel like she was on some tropical island.  As she sat there, a few men wandered over to introduce themselves and chat with her.  Amanda stood so as not to be rude and pretty soon she was surrounded by men.  She wondered if Lee would get jealous and secretly hoped he did.  As she greeted yet another admirer, the ambassador made his way to the dance floor with his wife and the band began to play in earnest.  As soon as the ambassador motioned for others to join in, Amanda received half a dozen invitations to dance.

She politely declined them for now, especially as she saw Lee returning, looking none too happy.  He walked through the small crowd of men, placed the two plates he carried on the table, and pulled out a chair for Amanda to sit down.  The men left and Lee sat fuming.  Was this how the night was going to go?  Every lech in the place would be biding his time until Amanda was done eating and then they'd be hovering around her all night.  He stabbed a slice of roast beef rather savagely with his fork and looked up to find Amanda watching him.

"Is something wrong?"  She questioned, knowing full well what was bothering him.

"Oh no, nothing at all," he answered sharply.  "It's just that it seems there are more letharios around tonight than normal."

Amanda smiled and began eating her dinner.  As they finished, Lee's prediction came true: first one, then another and another.  Each man who came up to her and asked for a dance was politely turned down in deference to Lee.  Amanda kept waiting for Lee to ask her to dance and even hinted that she would like to dance with him, but he only mumbled he didn't dance.

Amanda began to get annoyed.  She **loved to dance and was starting to get a little edgy.  She looked up as yet another man came to their table.**

"Madam, it would greatly please me if you would honor with me a dance."  Amanda recognized the man as the Mexican ambassador himself and decided it would be terribly rude not to accept his offer.  With one last look at Lee, who waved her on, Amanda stood and accepted his proffered hand.

"I'd be delighted," she replied and stepped on to the dance floor.

Lee sat and watched Amanda dance with partner after partner.  After her dance with the ambassador, another man readily replaced him and so on.  While he was a little irritated, Lee wasn't jealous.  Amanda always looked polite but never looked at any of the men the way she often looked at him.  Actually, he was enjoying watching her dance; she looked marvelous.  The slit in her dress exposed enough of her leg to make it difficult to stop looking.  As she danced, Lee caught enticing glimpses of her thigh and found himself imagining what it would be like to hold her in his arms and kiss her the way he wanted to.  God, when had she gotten so irresistible?  He knew she hadn't always affected him like this.  It seemed as if just relatively recently he had begun to see something simmering under the surface.  Every time he was near her, he felt as if an electrical current ran between them.  The hair on his arms would stand up and her scent drove him out of his mind.  He wanted tonight to be the night he let her know he wanted more than just a friendship with her, but he wasn't sure just how to go about it.  And that bothered him immensely.

Lee had never had any problems working his "magic" on a woman before.  He had always been smooth and suave: flawless with his moves and words.  Amanda left him tongue-tied.  He never said the right thing to her and somehow all his moves seemed trite and boorish.  How he felt about Amanda was so different from anything he had ever experienced before.  Maybe that was why he didn't know how to make the next move with her.

"So, are you going to dance with me tonight at all or should I just go back to the ambassador?"  Amanda questioned, smiling as she reappeared by his side.

Lee turned to look at her, trying his best to keep his gaze away from the tantalizing flash of leg that was nearly at eye level.  "Amanda, I just don't dance very well.  It has to be the right type of music.  But don't let me hold you back.  Go and dance; have a great time."

Amanda touched his shoulder lightly.  "Well, if you don't mind…but promise me at least **one dance….please?"**

Lee looked in to her eyes and realized maybe that would be a good opportunity for him to begin taking the next step in their relationship.  "Okay….one dance.  I'll come get you."

Amanda brightened at this and nodded.  "Okay."  She started to sit down next to him when a familiar figure came to the table.

"Amanda!  I didn't know you were coming to the party!"  Joe King put a hand on Amanda's shoulder.

"Joe!  I--- What a surprise," Amanda stammered, looking sideways at Lee.  "You remember Lee Stetson," she continued by way of introduction.

Lee stood up and shook Joe's hand.   "Joe," he nodded in greeting, suddenly tense.

"Lee," Joe returned.  "It's a great party, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes!  I've been having a great time dancing.  The ambassador is a fantastic dancer," Amanda replied, a bit too exuberantly.  For some reason she felt extremely awkward---as if she had just been caught doing something she shouldn't.  She glanced at Lee and could tell he was **not happy.  The muscle in his jaw was twitching and she noticed his hand was squeezing his napkin rather tightly.  "So….what brings you here, Joe?  And who are you with?"**

"Well, as an ambassador's aide with the Estocian government, I get invited to these functions.  This particular one has the reputation of being one of the best parties in town.  I couldn't pass it up.  But I came with one of the other aides: Shaun Blackman," Joe answered.

As Amanda and Joe continued chatting, Lee seethed quietly.  He had finally realized that all the men who had been dancing with Amanda meant nothing to her so his irritation had faded.  But Joe---that was a different story altogether.  Joe meant something to Amanda.  Exactly what, Lee wasn't sure, but he knew there was history between them.  He was the father of her children, her first love; perhaps she loved him still.  Lee noticed that Amanda's hand came to rest lightly on Joe's as she made some comment about her mother and the two laughed quietly.  This was unbearable.  Lee had **never felt this way before.  He felt angry, disgruntled, irritated, and yes, jealous.**

The band began a slow song and Lee saw his chance to get Amanda away from Joe.  As he turned to ask, Amanda stood up and accepted Joe's hand as he led her on to the dance floor.  Lee's eyes widened and then narrowed as he watched Amanda step into Joe's embrace and begin to dance.  Lee pushed his chair back as if to get up, but was stopped by the appearance of a willowy blonde.

"Hello," she greeted.  "You look awfully lonely.  Would you care to dance?"

Lee looked up at her.  The woman was beautiful; and her curves were in all the right places.  Lee was tempted to accept her offer, if for no other reason than to prove to Amanda he could get a woman as easily as she could get a man.  It was on the tip of his tongue to say yes.  Why not?  But then he caught sight of Amanda again and his, "No thanks," reply escaped his lips before he thought twice.

The blonde followed his gaze and knew he was watching the woman in red on the dance floor.  "A word of advice; don't wait all night.  She's a lucky woman to have the undivided attention of a man like you."  She moved away and Lee watched her leave.  She was right; he shouldn't wait all night.  Lee stood up, threw his mangled napkin on the table, and made his way to the band.  He slipped the leader a $20 and requested a tango.  Amanda's mother had said she could tango…..well, so could Lee.

As the last few strains of the current song faded away, Amanda stepped away from Joe.  It had been a bittersweet few minutes for her.  She had fallen into the old habit of resting her head on his shoulder and she had felt a slight twinge of the old feelings again.  It felt good to be in his arms again, but at the same time it didn't feel **as good as when she was near to Lee.  Perhaps if what had happened Tuesday night had never occurred, she would pursue the possibility of she and Joe again.  But remembering Lee's mouth on her neck and the feel of his arms around her, Amanda knew that there was no chance she could ever be interested in another man.  There had been many times over the past three years when Amanda had tried a relationship with someone but each time she lost interest quickly.  It had felt like she was just going through the motions.  No man had made her heart skip a beat, her stomach flutter, or her pulse race when he had kissed her.  In comparison, all Lee had to do was touch her hand, put his hand at the small of her back, or sometimes even just smile at her and it sent her into a whirl.**

Amanda did not kid herself.  Before Tuesday night she had refused to entertain the idea of anything ever being possible between the two of them.  She felt herself to be way out of Lee's league.  The normalcy of her life probably sent him running scared.  In contrast, the excitement of his had drawn her like a moth to a flame.  She had done her best to bury her feelings for him, but every once in a while they seeped out from behind the wall she had tried so hard to erect around them.  She had crushed every secret hope that had ever sprung up and refused to take anything Lee said or did as anything more than simple friendship.  Until Tuesday night.

Amanda could no longer delude herself about her feelings for Lee.  Nor could she doubt he was interested in her.  For the past three days Amanda had replayed the evening in her mind about a thousand times.  Each time she remembered his lips on her neck, her stomach did a twist and her pulse raced.  She hadn't been able to stop thinking about him and this dance with Joe had been a bit of a lie.  She imagined it was Lee's arms around her and his breath against her cheek.  As she stepped away from Joe at the end of the dance, she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"So, what's on your schedule for tomorrow?" Joe asked.

Before Amanda could answer, the band started again, this time a tango, and she felt someone take her arm and spin her around.  She gasped in surprise and then found herself pressed tightly against Lee's body.

"My turn," was all he said as he paused, aligning their bodies in anticipation of the start of the true beat of the tango.

Amanda swallowed and tried to smile, but his eyes had locked on hers and the look she saw in them was enough to send her emotions flying every which way.  The fleeting thought that this must be what it was like for a small animal to lock eyes with a cobra rushed through her mind and then there was no more room for conscious thought.

There were perhaps only ten couples on the dance floor, a tango being a difficult dance to do properly, but all eyes were on Amanda and Lee.  Their bodies were locked together as Lee led her through the sensual dance, his smoldering gaze burning into her eyes.  He spun her around and took her with him through the intricate steps.  The sexual tension between them was so electric that others even noticed it.

Amanda couldn't think and could barely breathe.  She had never seen this side of Lee.  The look of a predator was in his eyes and she was hypnotized.  She felt him spin her around and then his arms encircled her from behind.  His hands traveled up her arms and down her body, sending shivers coursing through her while at the same time making her feel incredibly hot.  She felt the power in his chest and arms as he crushed her against him, always keeping her in time with the music.

He wanted her.  He wanted her so badly that he was ready to pull her off the dance floor and into a room somewhere.  Lee had **never, ****ever been this hot, this passionate, this ****aroused by any other woman.  He could not remember a time when he had come this close to losing his self-control.  The depth of his feelings frightened him a little, but it was no longer the paralyzing fear that made him run away from her.  This fear was tinged with the excitement of the possibilities that were opening up before him.**

As the dance came to an end, Lee dipped Amanda and held her there for what seemed like an eternity but which was in reality only a few seconds.  As he slowly pulled her upright, his hand at the small of her back, Amanda blinked furiously several times, as if awakening from a dream.  The band started a new song, "The Search is Over", and Amanda started to thank Lee for the dance.

"Well----," was all she got out when Lee pulled her close to him again and shook his head.

"One more."

It was a question, a demand, and a plea all in one and Amanda could no more have refused him than she could have refused to breathe.  He held her close to him, gazing into her eyes, and as the lyrics poured forth, the hard edge of passion in his eyes softened into a gaze of love.

"The first time I heard this song, I decided it said everything about the way I feel."  It was all he said and Amanda's eyes grew wide as she listened more closely to the song and rested her head on Lee's shoulder:

Verse1             How can I convince you,

                        What you see is real?

                        Who am I to blame you,

                        For doubting what you feel?

                        I was always reaching,

                        You were just a girl I knew.

                        I took for granted,

                        The friend I have in you.

Chorus             I was living for a dream,

                        Loving for a moment.

                        Taking on the world,

                        That was just my style.

                        Then I touched your hand,

                        I could hear you whisper,

                        The search is over,

                        You were with me all the while.

Verse 2            Can we last forever?

                        Do we fall apart?

                        At times it's so confusing,

                        The questions of the heart.

                        You followed me through changes,

                        And patiently you'd wait,

                        'Til I came to my senses through,

                        Some miracle of fate.

                                    (repeat chorus)

Bridge              Now the miles stretch,

                        Out behind me,

                        Loves that I have lost.

                        Broken hearts lie, 

                        Victims of the dead.

                        Then girl, love, it finally struck,

                        Like lightning from the blue.

                        Every highway's leading me back to you.

Verse 3            Now at last I hold you,

                        Now all is said and done.

                        The search is come full circle,

                        Our destinies are one.

                        So if you ever loved me,

                        Show me that you give a damn.

                        You'll know for certain,

                        The man I really am.

Chorus             I was living for a dream,

                        Loving for a moment.

                        Taking on the world,

                        That was just my style.

                        Now I look into your eyes,

                        I can see forever.

                        The search is over,

                        You were right before my eyes.

Throughout the song, Lee had slowly steered Amanda towards the open doors of a balcony.  As the song came to its conclusion, he took her hand and led her out onto the balcony, away from the crowded party and into the stillness of the night.  As the sounds of the party softened and a light breeze brushed past, Lee drew Amanda to him slowly.  He looked into her eyes and smiled.  She returned the smile and his hand came up to her cheek.  He lightly caressed it and then his hand stole back into her hair where it stopped at the nape of her neck.  He leaned towards her and his lips touched hers once, briefly: a light tease.  He pulled back and looked around.  Raising an eyebrow as if to say, 'What.…no interruptions?' he leaned back in to kiss her again.  This time he prolonged the kiss, his mouth covering hers.

Amanda's senses reeled as she breathed in the scent of his cologne and felt his arms encircling her body, pulling her gently to him.  When his mouth found hers the second time, she trembled and thought her knees might buckle.  His lips were soft and the pressure of his mouth was firm, insistent.  Behind her closed eyelids Amanda could see bright flashes explode as her pulse raced.  Her lips parted and Lee pressed his advantage, tasting the softness of her mouth and tongue.

When they finally parted, Lee slowly opened his eyes to gaze at Amanda.  They had shared kisses before---the cover-up kiss when Lee was on the football team, the wedding kiss in San Angelo---but they had done no justice to what he had just experienced.  Lee's heart was pounding in his chest, his breathing was short, and it felt like every nerve ending in his body was tingling.  She was smiling at him but Lee could only stare into her eyes, unable to speak or return the smile.  Instead, he pulled her back into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her and laying his cheek against her soft hair.  Her arms went around his waist and she sighed in contentment as she laid her head against his shoulder.  He couldn't remember what it was like not to have her in his life; the last three years had become the only years that mattered any longer; those and the ones to come.

Lee finally found his voice.  "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he said, caressing her shoulders and back.

Amanda laughed, a short musical sound.  "I'm sure it wasn't as long as I've wanted you to."

Lee reluctantly released her from his embrace, but held on to her hands, almost as if he were afraid if he let go, she would disappear.  He smiled and then chuckled.  "Oh, really?  Now how long would that be?"  His voice was deep, belying the light tone the words were spoken in, his voice deepening with the desire he felt for this woman.

Amanda raised one eyebrow.  "That's on a need-to-know basis, Scarecrow."  Her eyes softened as she reached up to lightly touch his cheek.  "But I'm so glad you finally did."

Lee captured her hand in his and brought it to his mouth.  He lightly kissed her palm and then turned it over to kiss the top of her hand.  His eyes never left hers and he saw Amanda shiver slightly.  "Are you cold?"

Amanda felt herself falling into those hazel eyes and she saw the desire he held for her smoldering in that gaze.  She had shivered when he kissed the palm of her hand: a shiver of desire for him.  "No---I'm not cold.  Actually, I'm the exact opposite."  She saw the muscle of his jaw tighten when she said that and, while she felt herself flush with the temerity of her remark, she didn't feel embarrassed.  Something about Lee brought out an incredibly different side of her---a side she had had no idea she even possessed until meeting him.  He kindled a passion and desire in her that had grown so deep, Amanda knew that she would do anything to be in his arms.  Somewhere along the way she must have missed the moon falling from the sky because she had convinced herself that was what it would take for Lee to be interested in her.  But here he was, standing in front of her and there the moon was, still in orbit.  Would wonders never cease?

"So….now what?" Amanda asked him.

Lee cleared his throat and looked down at her hand held in his.  Looking back up he smiled.  "We explore what we have.  I know we already have a strong friendship.  I know there's a strong physical attraction….at least for me.  I think we should take things as they come, " Lee replied.

"I have to agree with everything you said.  And if you think you're the only one who feels a physical attraction, you have to be blind," Amanda joked lightly.

Lee laughed, a low sound in his chest, and shook his head.  "When did you become so….so forward and confident?  I remember a time when you used to be pretty reserved."

Amanda leaned against the marble pillar of the balcony and sighed.  "You realize that I am the woman I am today because of you, don't you?  I owe you so much that I can't even begin to thank you enough."  And Amanda opened her heart to Lee, telling him everything: how she had never known she possessed half the qualities he had helped bring out in her: how she never had the kind of self-confidence she had now: how she never had felt as attractive or desirable as she did now.  It was a quiet commentary on the last three years and how she had metamorphosed from a divorced mother of two to a confident, career-oriented woman.  She needed to say these things, no matter how some of them hurt, and Lee allowed her to unburden her soul.

When she finished, Lee tried to find something, **anything, to say to her but, before he could open his mouth, Amanda drew him to her and, as her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to meet her, Lee realized he didn't have to say anything.  He placed his hands against the column she was leaning against, one on either side of her, and met her mouth.**

Amanda felt herself teetering on the edge of losing control.  Lee was holding back, she knew that, because he was remembering their many discussions about relationships and boundaries.  But what Lee didn't know was that Amanda had changed in that respect, too.  Perhaps it was the knowledge that their careers placed them in danger nearly daily that had caused the shift in Amanda's beliefs.  Perhaps it was Lee himself.  Whatever the case may be, Amanda knew life was far too short to be lived too cautiously.  She didn't want to regret anything, especially not the waste of any more time.  

Amanda pulled his body against hers and kissed him….hard.  She felt her control slip another notch when his arms went around her as he returned the kiss, his mouth hungrily finding hers.  When he pulled away, it was to trail kisses down her neck and to her shoulder.  His hand came up her body, just barely grazing her breast as it came to rest on her bare shoulder.  Amanda drew in a sharp breath as he touched her and then he was pressing his body hard against hers and she could feel his desire for her.  When he finally pulled away, she was breathless, literally nearly gasping for air.  His hand traced down her shoulder to her collarbone and came to rest just above her left breast, over her heart.  She looked at him and the corners of his mouth curved up in a small smile.

"Your heart is beating so fast," he whispered, his voice hoarse with passion.

Amanda shivered again, this time at both the sound of his voice and the feel of his hand on her skin.  "I know…I can't help it."

"Amanda…..," Lee began, but he trailed off as she began kissing his neck, working her way along his jawline to his ear.

"Amanda…..," he began again.  "Amanda, if you keep doing this, I can't…..I mean I won't be able to…..," he tried cautioning her.

Amanda smiled and kissed his mouth once before pulling away.  "So what's to say I'm against that?"

Lee blinked a few times and shook his head.  "You never cease to amaze me, you know that?"  His hand, which had moved up to her cheek, dropped down to her waist again.  He pulled her to him and spent a few moments just looking into her eyes.  How had he gotten so lucky?  But then a sudden thought crossed his mind and he felt a slight twinge of apprehension.

Amanda noticed a difference in Lee's demeanor and frowned slightly.  "What's wrong?"

Lee wasn't sure how to approach the subject.  He felt embarrassed and at the same time justified in asking her what was on his mind.  "Amanda, what about---I mean---do you still---," he trailed off, uncertain and uncomfortable about this train of thought.

Amanda held on more tightly to his hand, encouraging him to say what it was that bothered him.

'Take a deep breath, Stetson.  Go ahead and admit it---you're insecure.  For the first time in your life, you're actually insecure.'  Lee turned away from her and stepped to the railing of the balcony.  He took a deep breath of the cool, night air and, in a rush, asked, "So what about Joe?"  There.  He had said it.  It sounded silly to him, but he needed to know where he stood with Amanda.  He felt her arms go around his waist from behind and he wondered what he was about to hear.

Amanda had smiled when Lee brought Joe up.  She knew he was a little jealous of him.  It actually made Amanda feel good to know that Lee cared that much. She put her arms around him and stood that way for a few moments, enjoying the feel of him in her arms.  How long had she fantasized about this?  "Well, now that he's living here in the States, he'll be around more often, I guess."

Lee waited to hear more, but Amanda had apparently felt that was enough of an explanation.  He turned around and faced her, uncertainty etched on his face.  "So that means you'll be seeing him?"

Amanda knew what Lee meant, but she purposely misinterpreted him.  "Well, I guess so.  He'll probably stop by more often to see the boys, so I'll see him then."

Lee shook his head.  "That's not what I meant.  Will you be ***seeing***** him?  Do you still---love him?"  This last question came out in a strangled whisper.**

            Amanda looked into his eyes and thought to herself, 'How could I love him when I love you?' But she knew she could never be the one to say that first.  Lee had come a long way, but that acknowledgment might scare him.  "As far as 'seeing him', no.  He's hinted at wanting to get together and I may have toyed with the idea, but now that I know you're interested, I don't want anything to do with him in that respect."

            Lee nodded in understanding, realizing just how close he had come to losing her.

            "And as far as loving him---I'll always love him as the father of my children, but I could never be ***in***** love with him," Amanda said.  Then, as she looked into his eyes and saw a smile begin to form, Amanda added, "Not ever again now that this is happening."**

            Lee felt as if a thousand pound weight had been removed from his chest and he smiled at her.  He leaned closer to her and touched his lips to hers in a gentle kiss, but her arms went around him and he found her pressing against him, deepening the kiss.  Lee pulled her to him tightly, breaking away from the kiss only to trail kisses down her throat.  Amanda arched her neck back and a sigh of pleasure escaped her lips.  His hand, which had been resting at her waist, traveled up her side to stop just under her arm.  His long fingers curled around to her back, but his thumb lightly rested on the slight swell of her breast.  He could hear her sharp intake of breath as he slowly moved his hand so that it was lightly cupping her breast.  He looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction.  Was he going too far, moving too fast?  He wanted her more than he had wanted any other woman.  Her touch and kiss sent him reeling like he was a teenager exploring his first love.  No one had made him feel like this.  He knew it would be very hard for him to control himself with her.  He thought he knew how she would feel about the physical side of this relationship, but he wasn't so sure now that he saw her reaction to him.  He bent down to kiss her bare shoulder, gently applying more pressure as his thumb found her erect nipple through the fabric of her dress.  He felt her hand stroking his hair and heard another soft moan escape her.

            "'Manda," he whispered in her ear and a thrill ran through her body as his breath touched her and at the choice of endearment.  "Do you want to go?"

            She looked into his eyes, those gorgeous hazel eyes, and felt overwhelmed.  She wanted him so badly, but she also felt incredibly vulnerable in many ways.  She didn't want to ruin things by moving too quickly.  She didn't want him to think her a prude.  And most of all, she worried about how she would compare to his previous girlfriends.  He had had so many exotic women and she had been with only one man.  True, she had been fantasizing about this for so long and she had a **very vivid imagination, but fantasy and reality were two very different things.  She didn't think she could bear it if he decided she was too average or, worse yet, wound up laughing at her.**

            Lee watched as many emotions traveled across Amanda's face.  He could see her desire mixed with uncertainty and could guess at what was going through her mind right now.  "We could stop for coffee somewhere and talk.  Or we could go back to your house or my apartment.  What would you like to do?"

            Amanda smiled.  He always knew the right thing to say.  "Maybe we could stop for coffee somewhere on the way to your apartment."

            Lee smiled and began to say more when three, rapid pops issued from the ballroom.

            "What was that?" Amanda asked, turning towards the door.

            Lee reached for his gun and realized he had left it at the door.  Cursing, he moved to the doorway and tried to make sense of what was happening.  People had scattered as two more popping sounds issued from other balcony areas.  It didn't sound like a gun.

            "Amanda, **stay here.  I'll be right back," Lee said, making his way back inside.  He had gotten halfway across the dance floor when a terrific explosion rocked through the embassy.  Debris and falling concrete came crashing down from the ceiling and the last thing Lee saw before he was knocked to the ground was Amanda, on the other side of the blast, falling to the ground, stone, dust, and tremendous chunks of concrete raining down between them.**


	5. A Little More Time Chapter 5

            The explosion that had ripped through the embassy had all the characteristic markings of a Middle Eastern terrorist attack. The popping sounds before the actual explosion were the sounds of certain mechanisms within the bomb itself moving into alignment.  It was chaos and mass confusion as the dust began to settle and people started to come out of wherever they had taken cover.  People were crying hysterically, calling out names of those they couldn't locate, and there was a great deal of noise from the alarms and sirens that were blaring.  Dazed confusion, grief, and abject terror were etched on people's faces along with blood and dirt.  Nearly everyone had been hurt and apparently many were now trapped under various sized blocks of concrete.  Lee was one of the lucky ones.

            Staggering to his feet, Lee tried desperately to see in front of him.  He wiped the wetness from his face and realized it was blood running from a gash in his scalp, just above his left eye.  He grabbed a napkin from the floor and pressed it against the wound to staunch the flow of blood.  When he could see, he took a good look at the destruction in front of him.  Amanda was somewhere in that.

            Lee felt a tremendous lump form in his throat and his heart began to pound loudly in his ears.  Panic set in and Lee raced to the tremendous pile of rubble.  He couldn't even see the balcony he had made Amanda stay on.  He looked towards the other balcony and saw that the entire platform of it had disappeared in the explosion.

            "No."  It was a whisper at first.  Then, as the hopelessness of the situation began to make itself apparent, he repeated it and the one word became the echo of all the anguish of wasted time and the heart wrenching sorrow he now felt.  "**_No!"_**

            Lee nearly dove at the pile of concrete, ripping chunks away, clawing at debris until his hands began to bleed.  He heard the cries of people who were trapped and saw the crushed bodies of those who had not been so fortunate.  He looked frantically for a way to get closer to where Amanda had been and climbed over the rubble to be as near as possible.  Paramedics and rescue teams were arriving and began the task of removing the stone, but they weren't fast enough for Lee.  He had to find Amanda.

            "Lee!  Where's Amanda?"  It was Joe King and he looked nearly as frantic as Lee.

            Lee turned and Joe saw the terror in his eyes.  "She was on this balcony just before the explosion."

            Joe looked at the pile of rubble blocking what was left of the opening that had been the balcony.  "Oh my God," he whispered.

            Lee and Joe worked together, neither one stopping to think about what would happen if they found Amanda in anything less than perfect condition; neither one wanting to know how the other felt about her.  They worked for what seemed like hours but was probably closer to half an hour, when Lee's heart felt like it stopped and his stomach clenched tightly in fear at the sound of Joe's strangled voice.  "Oh God, no."

            Lee turned to look at what Joe had discovered.  There, under a huge block of jagged concrete, was a glimpse of red sequined material covering a bloody leg.  It looked like Amanda's dress.  There was no way the person whose leg they could see had survived the explosion.

            Lee could hear Joe's voice, but couldn't understand what he was saying.  He couldn't focus on anything except the red dress.  His heart was hammering, his stomach was wrenching, and his eyes began watering.  He felt sick.  Suddenly he couldn't control his legs and he crashed to the floor, retching violently until his stomach was empty.  He shakily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, but his eyes continued to burn with tears.  Images and memories flew through Lee's mind: that fateful day at the train station, Christmas Eve spent in a cabin surrounded by hostile forces, the "wedding" in San Angelo.  The memories overwhelmed him and, for the first time since he was a child, Lee Stetson cried.

            Shuddering sobs wracked his body as he cried and he knew his life would never be the same.  He had allowed Amanda to do what he had sworn no one would do ever again; she had broken through every barrier he had ever erected around himself.  Every layer of that barrier had been another betrayal or death.  His parents' deaths had been the foundation of the barrier.  His uncle's coldness, the second.  Dorothy's death, Eva's supposed death and then betrayal, his first partner's death; the list went on forever and with each hurt, another layer had been added to this wall.  Amanda had persistently chipped away at that wall until she had made it to Lee Stetson the man and not Scarecrow the agent.  And now, when he was most vulnerable, her death had destroyed him.

            A sudden realization struck Lee that doubled him over in anguish.  **He had killed her.  It was his fault just as surely as if he had shot her with his gun.  ****He was responsible for bringing her in to this business.  ****He had allowed her to stay involved.  ****He had even brought her to this party where she had died.  Everything he touched, everyone he ever loved, wound up being destroyed.  How was he going to live with himself?  Amanda had two sons; they had just lost their mother because of him.  Dotty had lost her only child.  And Lee had lost the woman he loved.**

            With the realization of that, Lee thought he would lose what little control he had left.  He loved her---and he had never told her.  Instead, he had played games with her and had wasted the precious time they had together: time he could never get back.

A hand touched his shoulder and Lee looked up into Joe King's tear stained face.  The silent communication that passed between them said it all.  In that one moment, Joe knew Lee was in love with Amanda and Lee knew Joe understood.  Joe sank to his knees beside Lee and drew in a shaky breath.

"This can't be happening," he managed to say, shock evident on his face and in his voice.  "God, this just can't be happening."

Lee stared at Joe, a numbness beginning to spread throughout his body.  He had been man enough to tell Amanda he loved her; Lee had never said those words.  Amanda had died not knowing how he felt.  "I never told her," he whispered.

Joe looked up at him.  "You never told her what?"

"I just needed a little more time, that was all," Lee continued, oblivious to Joe's question.

Joe frowned, perplexed at Lee's comments.  "Lee, what are you trying to say?"

Lee looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time.  "I love her.  I never told her I love her."  Anger, fear, and pain all welled up inside of him at once and Lee violently struck out at the nearest thing he could hit.  His hand smashed into a block of concrete as he cried out in anguish.  He hit the block again and again, bloodying his hand before stronger hands grabbed him from behind, preventing him from further self-inflicted torture.

"Lee!  Lee, stop it!  Listen to me, that won't help anything.  You have to pull yourself together!"  Joe tried reasoning with him and managed to get Lee to calm down enough that he stopped struggling in his grasp.  Lee stood up, shaking off Joe's grip and looked around him at the mess the explosion had created.  "Lee, we need to get someone to look at your wounds," Joe prodded, motioning not only to the damage he had inflicted upon his hand, but also to the nasty gash in his scalp.  

Lee allowed himself to be led to a makeshift paramedic station and was coaxed to sit down while an EMT worked on him.  He sat quietly, unable to come out of the seeming trance he had fallen in to.  The EMT was still working on him when a harried-looking Billy Melrose appeared.

"Lee!  Thank God!  When we heard about the explosion we feared the worst.  It took me forever to get in here.  I was worried sick about you!"  The relief on Billy's face was clear but he noticed his agent was unresponsive.  "Lee?  Are you all right?  What's wr---"

"She's dead," Lee cut in quietly.

Billy frowned.  "Who's dead?"

Lee looked up at him now and Billy saw tears streaming down his face.  "Amanda.  I told her to stay on the balcony.  The next thing I knew, the explosion leveled this place.  Joe King and I found her under a piece of the ceiling.  She's dead."  Lee had spoken in a monotone voice, the syllables of every word flat and emotionless.

"I don't think you re---"

"I killed her, Billy.  It's all my fault.  I told her to stay on the balcony.  If I hadn't done that she might still be alive," he cut in, still in that expressionless voice.  

"Lee, listen to me.  Aman---"

"Billy, I can't live with this.  What am I going to do?  I can't---I mean I don't---"  Here Lee began to trail off, his voice cracking with the emotion that he had been denying in front of Billy.  Another wracking sob escaped him and he stood up, pushing the EMT's hands away.  He had to get out of there, away from the scene of Amanda's death.  He didn't know where he wanted to go; he only knew he had to leave.  He pushed past squads of police and other emergency personnel and made it to the doors of the embassy.  He walked out into the front yard and made his way to the gates, showing his federal ID to gain access to the street.  Dozens of reporters and other people were lined up on the other side of the police barriers, trying to gain a better vantage point from which to view the carnage.  He thought he heard his name being called and immediately made his way to where he had parked his car.  He didn't want to talk to anyone else from the Agency.  He had to get away from here.  He had to leave before he broke again.  

He made it to the car and stood there for a few moments.  He was breathing hard and knew he was about to lose control again.  He fumbled with his keys, trying to unlock the door, and dropped them.  They fell under the car and Lee bent over to pick them up.  As he straightened up, he heard Billy calling his name and saw someone running towards him out of the corner of his eye.  He turned just in time to be thrown against his car, the wind knocked out of him.  He braced for the rest of the attack, but realized that the person had her arms wrapped tightly around him and was clinging to him for dear life.  The woman was sobbing uncontrollably and he stiffened as he tried to push her away.  It was then that he caught the light floral fragrance and suddenly he felt his knees buckle.  "Amanda?"

She pulled back and wiped quickly at the tears that were running down her face.  "Lee!  I was so worried!  The last thing I saw after the explosion was you falling to the ground.  I thought you might have been crushed under the concrete that fell.  I knew I had to get back in to see if you were okay, but I had to climb down from the balcony first.  I'm not a very good climber so I slipped a few times, but I managed to get to the ground.  By the time I made it around front, they weren't letting anyone in.  I tried to explain I had already been in there and needed to see if you were okay, but they insisted I stay outside.  Then I saw Mr. Melrose and I told him everything that had happened and he spent forever trying to get in.  He finally got in and then I saw you come out and I tried to call to you but you didn't hear me…." Amanda was talking a mile a minute and she hadn't taken a breath yet.  Even she couldn't make it through any more so she paused to take a breath.  She meant to finish her story, but it was then that she realized Lee was breathing hard, nearly gasping for breath, and concern flooded through her.  "Are you all right?  What's wrong?  Lee?  Talk to me.  You're scaring me."

Lee grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, nearly crushing her in an embrace.  She was alive!  She was alive and obviously unhurt and standing right in front of him.  "You're not dead," was all he could manage to say.

Amanda shook her head, returning his embrace.  Lee released her long enough to look her over, then, taking her face in his hands, he kissed her.  His mouth took hers hungrily, pouring out all his frustration and fear.  He moved to her cheek, her jaw, her throat, tasting every inch of her and burning each kiss and each sigh indelibly into his memory.  "God, oh God, I thought you were dead.  I thought I saw your body under the rubble.  I thought I had lost you forever after I had just found you."  His voice was raw and deep, the relief he felt and the passion that was beginning to replace the anguish evident.  He pulled away, looking into her eyes, those chocolate brown eyes he thought he would never again see.  

"You thought I was dead?"  Amanda managed to whisper, locking eyes with him.  "I thought you were, too."  Tears welled up in her eyes and began to run down her cheeks.  "I thought I would never see you again."

Lee clutched her to him again, stroking her hair and whispering nonsense words to her, trying to quiet her down as well as calm himself.  He inhaled deeply, smelling the scent that was unique to Amanda and cried again; this time they were tears of relief and joy.

Amanda pulled away from him, looking up to see him crying.  She reached her hand up to wipe away the tears and stared in wonder at the wetness on her hands.  When she returned her gaze to search his face, Lee bent to kiss her again and this time, when he pulled away, he vowed not to waste any more time.

"When I thought you were dead, I---I felt like a huge part of me had been ripped away.  'Manda---I love you," he whispered.  "I have for a very long time.  I just didn't know how to tell you….how to take that risk.  I didn't know----I---," Lee trailed off, realizing he was beginning to ramble.

Amanda took his hand and brought it to her mouth, kissing it lightly and then holding it to her breast.  She looked down at his long, slender fingers entwined in hers and shook her head.  She couldn't believe it.  Lee Stetson had told her he loved her.  Just now….right here….he loved her!  

Before she could reply, Billy appeared next to them.  He took in the scene quickly and realized something was happening between the two of them.  He smiled and rested his hands on both their shoulders.  "Thank God you're both all right.  I don't know what I would have done if either one of you had been hurt badly.  Lee, did you finish allowing the EMT to dress your wounds?"

Lee looked at Billy as if seeing him there for the first time.  "I don't know.  I wasn't thinking very clearly."

Amanda realized that he had a bandage at his hairline and dried blood was caked in his hair.  "Oh my gosh, you're hurt!"

"It's nothing.  It doesn't even hurt any more," Lee replied, touching it with his hand.

"Lee!  What happened to your hand?!"  Amanda released the one she held to take his other in her hand, examining the torn and bleeding knuckles and fingers.

Lee drew a breath in sharply and winced at the light pressure she exerted on his hand.  "I don't know," he lied.

"It looks like you hit something pretty damn hard with your fist.  I think you might have broken something," Billy broke in, examining his hand.  "We need to get you to a hospital."

"No!  No hospitals!  It's nothing, Billy.  They're sore and a little bloody, but I can flex them so they're not broken.  I'll just bandage them when I get home," Lee interrupted.

"Let me see," Amanda demanded gently, looking his hand over.  It did indeed look like he had hit something.  She wondered what had happened, but that wasn't important now.  She needed to get him somewhere where she could bandage his hand for him since he would refuse to go to the hospital.  "I can take care of it for you.  Do you have bandages and antiseptic at your apartment?"

Lee nodded his head, still slightly dazed that Amanda was indeed alive and standing right in front of him.

Billy nodded his head.  "Amanda, I'm putting you in charge of making sure he gets taken care of.  Do whatever it takes.  Scarecrow, I'm ordering you to take care of that hand.  Get some rest and report in tomorrow afternoon.  We'll go over what's happened here and see if we can't start tracing some leads down.  But I want you to get some rest, so don't even think about coming in to the office until after lunch, do I make myself understood?"  Lee nodded and Amanda agreed to help.  "Amanda, stay with him and make sure he obeys my orders, okay?"  Billy smiled again.  "I am truly relieved that you're both all right.  I don't know what I would do without you two."

"Thank you, Sir," Amanda replied.  

Billy leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Goodnight, you two.  Get some rest."

As Billy walked away, Amanda turned back to Lee.  "Give me your keys.  I'll drive back to your place."

Lee handed her the keys and got into the car, unable to take his eyes off her for a minute lest this all be a dream.  When they got to his apartment, Amanda led him into the bathroom where she dug bandages and ointments out of his medicine cabinet in order to fix him up.  He sat on the edge of the tub in somewhat of a daze as she worked on his hand.  She was quiet and he knew something was bothering her.  Lee wondered if it was his proclamation of love that had caused her subdued manner.  Had he done the wrong thing by telling her how he felt?

"Okay, I've done the best I can.  They're going to be awfully sore in the morning.  You should take something now.  I'm sure you have a headache from this," Amanda said as she gently brushed the hair away from his forehead in order to look at the bandage there.  "Does it hurt much?"

Lee shook his head and took her hand in his.  He stood up and felt the room sway a little.  Amanda steadied him and concern flooded her voice.  "Do you think you might have a concussion?  Here, let me help you out of here."  Amanda led him out of his bathroom and sat him down on his bed.  "Don't lay down.  If you have a concussion, you shouldn't go to sleep.  How about I make some coffee?"  She got up to go to the kitchen.

Lee grabbed her hand and turned her to face him.  "Amanda, what's wrong?"

She looked down at him and suddenly tears sprang into her eyes.  "Lee---I was so scared tonight---I---I thought---," Amanda trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.  She allowed herself to be pulled down onto the bed and he wrapped his arms around her, rocking her gently like a child.  She cried in his embrace and finally, when she had calmed down, she pulled away to look into his eyes.  She took his face in her hands and shook her head.  "Oh God, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life."

Hearing those words from her for the first time sent Lee's heart into his throat.  He swallowed hard and then smiled at her: the smile he reserved for only her.  He kissed her then, kissed her like he had promised himself he would if God would only allow him to have a second chance.  Lee had his second chance now and he was going to make sure he never regretted anything with Amanda again.  

The intensity of the kiss changed and Amanda wrapped her arms around his neck.  His hands lightly traced the contours of her shoulders and arms, making their way around to her back and down the length of her spine.  She shifted in his embrace and her hands began to follow the same route on him.  Her mouth opened to him and the light touch of her tongue against his lips drove him to open his mouth as well.  Their tongues collided and a soft moan escaped her lips as Amanda felt his hands brush against her breasts as he pulled her body closer to his.

When Lee pulled away, he was breathless and found it hard to concentrate on anything except the beautiful woman in front of him.  Two thoughts had entered his mind, though, and he had to voice his concerns.  "Amanda," he began.

"Hmmm?" She answered, kissing her way down his throat.

"Amanda, what about your mother?  She'll be worried sick about you with the explosion and all," he continued.

"I called her shortly after it happened to tell her I was okay and that I probably wouldn't make it home tonight because of the police questioning and all."  Amanda continued her onslaught by unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt so that she could begin to kiss his chest.  

Lee nodded and found it increasingly difficult to speak.  "I don't want you to think you have to do this, Amanda.  I don't want you to think I told you I love you just so I could get you here---I mean---I want---," Lee was stammering by now, as Amanda finally stopped her ministrations and looked into his eyes.

"Lee, don't you think I know that?"

"I know how you feel about relationships.  I just want you to know that I'm not taking this lightly.  I ***do* love you, 'Manda," Lee answered.**

"Tonight drove home a lot of things for me.  There was a time I would never dream of doing this, but life is too brief and too fragile to have any regrets.  I don't want to regret another day of my life," Amanda said quietly.

Lee leaned in and kissed her lightly on the tip of the nose.  "I feel the same way.  Tonight, when I thought I had lost you, I hated myself for not being man enough to tell you how I felt.  I don't know what I'd do without you."

She smiled at him and shook her head again.  "I can't believe this is really happening.  I can't believe that you are sitting here telling me things I've only dreamed you would say."

Lee laughed lightly and pulled her to him.  "Let me show you how much I mean what I say."  With that, he began kissing her throat and she immediately shivered in anticipation.  Her hands wandered slowly down to where she had left off unbuttoning his shirt and continued the rest of the way, pulling his shirt tails out of his pants and gently pushing the shirt off his shoulders.  He slipped out of it the rest of the way and Amanda ran her hands over his bare chest appreciating the hardness of his muscles.

Lee found the zipper at the back of Amanda's dress and urged it down until it would move no farther.  He slid her dress down around her waist and then languidly allowed his hands to trace their way up her sides, coming to rest at her breasts.  He gently cupped each one in his hands and lowered his mouth to her shoulder.  

Amanda laid back onto the bed, drawing Lee down with her and he used the opportunity to trail feather light kisses from her shoulders down to her breasts.  His pulse quickened as he heard her moan when he took a nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue lightly across it.  Her hands traveled down to his belt and worked at removing it and his pants.  Lee looked at her in amusement.  "I never knew you could be like this."

Amanda managed a smile.  "There's a lot about me you don't know, Scarecrow."  With that, she pushed her dress down and off her body and took him into her arms, pulling him close and luxuriating in the feel of his bare chest against hers.  

It was Lee's turn to moan this time.  Just the sensation of her skin against his was driving him wild.  Her hands were working their way down to his waist and he felt her hands brush against him, sending shock waves through his body.  He hooked his thumb into her undergarment and pulled it off her body, at last exposing every inch of her to his eyes.  He looked at her hungrily and began trailing kisses down her stomach and across her thighs.  Her hands tightened on his shoulders and constant soft moans escaped her lips.  His hands caressed her, finding all the pleasurable places on her body and she twisted and grasped at the pillow on his bed.  

Between his mouth and his hands, Amanda thought she might very well go mad with pleasure.  No one had ever made her feel like this.  This was what people felt in romance novels, not in real life.  At least that was what she had thought until tonight.  She felt a desire burning so hot within her that it turned into a need, an almost animal need for him to complete her.  She was pulling at him before she realized it, urging him back up to her mouth.  She kissed him again and again, tasting him as well as herself.  She wanted to give him everything she could.  Amanda began making her way down his body, kissing him and moving down until she made it to his waist.  She pulled his boxers off his body, exposing all of him to her eyes.  When she took him into her mouth, she felt his body convulse and heard a deep, rumbling moan issue from his parted lips.  His eyes were closed tight and his uninjured hand had come to rest in her hair.  She paused for a moment, reveling in the sight of him and then he was urging her to continue her attentions to him.  

Lee felt himself teetering on the edge.  She was driving him wild and he couldn't take much more of the pressure of her mouth on him.  He pulled her up the length of his body and luxuriated in the feel of her nude body pressed hard against his.  She was the perfect fit to him, their bodies molding together as if they were two halves of the same person.  He wanted her so badly that he could barely restrain himself.  He rolled her over onto her back and gently stroked her cheek.  Her eyes opened and the love they held for him was so clear that he had no doubts that he had finally found the woman he had never believed existed for him.

Amanda reached up to gently caress Lee's face.  She looked into his beautiful hazel eyes and saw so many things there: passion, desire, love.  She also saw the slightest hesitation there.  He was looking for her approval and she granted him it.  As she kissed him, she quietly whispered against his mouth, "I want this so much.  I want ***you* so much."**

He needed no further urging.  Locking his eyes on hers, Lee lowered himself, pushing against the softness of her.  She opened to him, guiding him to her and raised her body up against his.  He moved slowly, burying himself in her.  She gasped at the feeling, closing her eyes in ecstasy.  He kissed her then, a kiss that started out loving and gentle but that changed in intensity as he began rocking his body against hers.  Soon she was gasping for air as he pushed her beyond every limit she had ever known.  Amanda wrapped her legs around him, imploring him with her body to take everything he wanted.  He moaned her name, wanting to take her with him.  With each thrust, he could feel her body tightening around his, hot and wet, and he knew by the sound of her voice that she was as close as he was.  He shifted his position and drove harder into her, and then she was crying out, calling his name over and over.  Hearing his name on her lips like that drove him past the edge and then he was falling down the other side into oblivion.

The morning sun was peaking though the window of his bedroom when Lee awoke.  He was a little disoriented at first, but then he realized where he was and who he was with.  He looked down to find Amanda's head resting on his chest, her hair covering her face.  He brushed it lightly to one side and she stirred in his arms.  It felt so incredible to have her there, waking up with him.  This was so right.  

"Good morning," he said quietly as she opened her eyes.

She looked around for a few moments and then smiled.  "Hi."  She raised herself up on one elbow and searched his face.  "So, this wasn't another one of my dreams?"

Lee smiled devilishly.  "Oh, you've been dreaming about me?  How often?"

Amanda raised her eyebrow at him.  "I don't think I should tell you.  I think it might swell your head and you really don't need that after that knock you took last night."

Lee pulled her to him and kissed her, long and lovingly.  "Last night was wonderful and horrible at the same time.  I don't think I could ever go through that range of emotions in a single night again."

"I presume that the horrible part was the explosion and nothing else?" Amanda joked lightly.

"Of course.  The rest of the evening was---amazing.  You are amazing," Lee replied, stroking her hair.

Amanda smiled.  "I love you."

"I love you, too.  I have always loved you.  I just needed a little more time."  Here Lee leaned in to kiss her again.  "And I'm so glad I got it."

Amanda touched his cheek in response.  "So am I."


End file.
